So, good news: I got my job back.
Bad news: I've gone back in time - i.e.: I've got no benefits and I've taken a pay cut.
Fucking fabulous. I could explain the very long and arduous process that is "hiring" at my work, but I will spare you because, quite frankly, I'm sick of talking/hearing/thinking about it. I have a job, and for that I'm grateful, but I hate knowing that just 3 short weeks ago, I was something more. If all goes well I can return to my position later this year...cross your fingers, friends.