What Happened Was ...

My friend posted this as her status on Facebook:
"So sick of Utah winters!"

And a friend of hers, we'll call him John Doe, replied,
"so move"
(Just like that, no punctuation, no capitalization -- you should know that anything in quotes is an exact replica of the original.)

My comment immediately followed:
"I hate it when people say "so move." What, like we lose the right to complain just because we live here? The huge task of quitting one's job, finding new employment, and leaving friends and family is OBVIOUSLY the BEST option and 100% plausible because we have one day where the weather pisses us off, right?

I'm with you, Jane Doe. Winter sucks ass. And I reserve the right to complain about the weather no matter where I live. If I live in California, I might complain about it being too hot."
 
At this point, some people cheered ... well, they liked my comment. And I was feeling pretty pleased with myself at standing up to the statement "so move" because it angers me so much.

Little did I know that John Doe is an insecure ass and felt the need to lash out ...

"I hate when people blow things out of proportion.

I lived in UT for 16 years, I know how winters are and I'm in phoenix so I obviously know how hot summers are.

If they moved, they have the option to see _other_ family and friends. So, it is ...an option to get out of the "Utah Winters" (yes that is plural for _more then one_ indicating shes not sick of "one day where the weather pisses us off" but rather the whole season.

If someone posts there "thoughts" they expect to see a "response" whether its something they agree with or not. The fact that you got "upset" because I said "so move" is pretty sad."

Again, this is quoted word for word, typo by typo, excessive quotation mark by excessive quotation mark. I'm thinking of sending it off as a suggestion for The Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks. Now, let me explain a few particulars of the situation. Jane Doe is a coworker of my husband's. A sensitive coworker. Normally I don't supply such sassy comments on an acquaintance's status because you never know how it'll be taken but Jane and I had been friends on Facebook for a while and I thought she would understand. I did not, however, anticipate the super sensitive response of John (who seems to be a family member ... perhaps the sensitivity is a genetic defect.) Why am I telling you all this? Well, I want you to know why I couldn't respond. Why I had to swallow my pride and remain mute. Why I couldn't shame this John Doe into tears with his poor grammar and lack of originality. Why I couldn't rebut, in all my wordy, indignant, self-righteous glory, as follows:

"John Doe -- I'm so sorry you think that I was upset at you (stranger that I don't even know)! I was just annoyed with your worn out sentiment of "so move." And I was trying to show Jane that I am completely and absolutely supportive of her right to complain about whatever she wants. It had nothing to do with you so please stop trying to make this about you. It's about Jane and how bad winters suck.

But since you opened it up for argument, I would say that I'm happy you no longer live in Utah, because then I don't have to run the possibility of bumping into you at the grocery store where I might say something like "I hate these carts" and you would promptly tell me to leave the grocery store for the one up the street. Also, I would like to point out that your attempts to belittle my comment and its validity fell far short of convincing me of your point of view -- whereas mine obviously struck a chord with you. It's my sincere hope that this means you won't throw out whatever dribble is coming out of your mind and then expect that people won't challenge your statement. I'm glad that you put "upset" in quotation marks, because I am, in fact, not upset by you. I'm more so offended at your inability to communicate with other humans. It gives faint hope for the future of the species.

Of course it's an option for her to move. I never said it wasn't. My exact words were "the BEST option" meaning that I'm rating her possible options and deeming "so move" not number one. Do you see the difference? Also, it snowed today, so I took it upon myself to think that she was indicating her irritation with Utah winters because of the weather today, which is why I said "one day." Obviously someone who moved because of the weather conditions of one day would be schizophrenic.

"There" means a place, hypothetical or otherwise. Given the context of the sentence, I believe you meant "their," the possessive plural. Which reminds me, I do not need a lecture from someone as grammatically challenged as you that "winters" means more than one. And while we're at it, it's "than" not "then," you trilobite."

It's depressing to think that he thinks he bested me.
But I'm big enough to just walk away because I know the reality of the situation: he's an idiot.

Following You

I've been checking out all of your blogs, fellow thinkers.
One by one, a bit everyday.
And I started thinking --
Wouldn't life be terrible without the internet?
I wouldn't get to see into any of your lives.
Anonymity provides personal knowledge.
It's quick and easy.
Whether that's good or bad, it's the truth.
Personally, I love it.
It's plums in the pudding,
Cheese on our potatoes,
the spice of life.

Cave People Died at Age 30

Oh my god. We have been without the internet and TV for 5 days. I know that it doesn't seem like a long time, but it is. It is a really fucking long time.

How do people survive without the internet? How do they access their information? How do they look up show times for movies or how late stores are open or how soon that storm is moving in? How do they check their email/facebook/blog? How do they pay their bills? Do their banking? Play games?

Cave people died young. Their lives were really hard because they were always foraging for food and trying to kill mammoths for food and trying not to become food. Also, they did not have TV or internet. So basically: when they weren't trying to stay alive, they were bored witless. No wonder they died so young. Their lives sucked ass. Think about how much more enjoyable their life would have been if they had "Friends" to watch. Or if they could join match.com and find a more compatible mate - one that would not be upset about trying to get the mastodon smell out of the rug.Our life is decidedly "techish" but I'm not one to complain because I'm not dying at the age of 30 and I'm not bored. I don't mind being semi-dependent on technology because I'm also semi-dependent on oxygen - and to me, there is little difference. A contestant on "Survivor" said that they enjoyed their time because they were able to "detox from technology." Okay, what? Technology is in our lives to better it. It does not control us. We control IT. It is a tool for us to use and use to excess if that is what we choose. Sometimes people tell me that they don't like having a cell phone because they hate the feeling that they can always be contacted, bugged, pestered, and so on. And to those people I say: don't answer your phone. It's that simple. We can use tech stuff to make our lives better and when we don't want to use it, we can put it away. I don't feel that it controls our lives, it simply takes us far and away from cavemen. We've evolved and it's fabulous.

Moving In?

So, the apartment that we've been waiting to move into for like 2 months called today and told us that we could move in.

Yay.

Wait, not quite yet. Tom almost wanted to change his mind about taking the new place when he found out that the ONLY internet option available was Qwest. DSL. Lame.

I know that the internet is not the be-all end-all of the world, but it almost is. How can one function without superfast internet? Information at the touch of a button, blogging, movie times, shopping, TV shows, email, chatting, and on and on. How is it possible that parts of the world are not yet operating on lightning fast cable internet? I hate waiting for civilization to be 100% civilized.

We're taking the apartment - it's too good to pass up. But you can now call us "The Slowskys."

8s Tag

Okay, I normally hate this tag bullshit. But I'm bored and this should be quick and painless. Also, this "8s Tag" only had 6 topics. What the fuck? I added 2 more. If you already did your 8 but it was actually only 6 - you better do the 2 I added.

8 Fears

1. Scary movies
2. Spiders
3. Mirrors in a dark room
4. Tom's death
5. Nightmares you can't wake up from
6. Vacuuming while home alone
7. Childbirth
8. Falling from a great height

8 Favorite Movies

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Fight Club
3. Marie Antoinette
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5. Closer
6. Moulin Rouge
7. Lost in Translation
8. Clue

8 Pet Peeves

1. Women with mustaches
2. Panty lines
3. Nose breathers
4. Dirty fingernails
5. Bad dye jobs
6. Ear and nose hair
7. Pit stains
8. Crumbs on the counter

8 Favorite TV Shows

1. Friends (duh)
2. Sex and the City (duh, again)
3. Bones
4. Battlestar Galactica
5. Damages
6. Pushing Daisies
7. Entourage
8. The Closer

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Mimi's Cafe
2. Mee Kong Cafe
3. Olive Garden
4. Happy Sumo
5. Rumbi
6. Taco Time
7. Cafe Rio
8. Rubio's

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. I took a shower
2. I went to work
3. I was bored
4. I packed a pot pie for Tom's lunch
5. I had a meeting
6. I was paid overtime
7. I walked
8. Kenley called me

8 Things to Look Forward to

1. Being thin
2. Moving into the new apartment
3. Finishing projects (like quilts and blankets and scarves)
4. New season of 'Damages'
5. Buying furniture
6. Writing
7. Thanksgiving
8. Christmas

8 Things On My Wish List

1. World travel
2. Education
3. Fulfillment
4. A Wii
5. Continued health
6. A pet
7. End hunger
8. World peace

Done.

1 and 2

Whilst browsing for pics for my post about peeing, I found this: Yes, they are indeed stuffed pee and poo plush toys

which you can purchase.

Apparently Pee and Poo are friends

and live in a color coordinated magical world.

I gather that they are in love -

based on the hearts

and rainbows

and outstretched arms.

Look - Pee and Poo want to give you a hug.

Abandoned Blog

Tom and I started another blog which would be about our experiences in Shanghai. It has pics of what we're doing and all that jazz. And, of course, I have my own. However, neither of these connections with home and friends can be maintained at the moment because our new apartment lacks an essential function.

The internet.

Holy shit. Just try not having the internet. You will die. We are dying. And no one knows that because we don't have the internet to tell them that we're fucking dying. I hate not having access to the world outside of our apartment. We can't speak with friends or family. We can only read our email at the school, which is NOT private. Not to mention that the internet at the school is CHINA internet which means that random websites are blocked - including Facebook (depending on the day). So, our blogs are alone and floating in "cyberspace" unread, unattended, un-updated. If you don't hear from us, you'll know why.