Saturday, February 19

Out on the Town

Time to party with the friends I love.
Time to max out my hair.
Time to make up my face.
Time to slink into a little dress.
Time to dance and dance until the sun comes up.

"Good morning midnight
Hello again
If I don't close my eyes
Days never end."

Friday, February 18

The Youth List

Things I will do today to keep me young for tomorrow:
  1. Sleep on my back
  2. Moisturize
  3. Drink half my weight in ounces of water
  4. Hug my puppy
  5. Love my husband
  6. Eat an apple
  7. Read a good book
  8. Gab and cackle with my friends
  9. Organize my time
  10. Forgive my shortcomings
  11. Drive fast with the radio loud
  12. Wear sunglasses
  13. Laugh heartily at anything I find funny
  14. Take a nap and then go to the gym
  15. Sing show tunes
  16. Brush and floss my teeth
  17. Daydream

Monday, February 14

Love Day

Sonnet One Hundred and Sixteen

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
--William Shakespeare


"I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before.
I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible."

Wuv Burds

Happy we found each other
Happy we stay together
Happy to live in love
Happy with you

Friday, February 11

Perfect Pair

Today my thoughts drift to the beloved pillars of poetry and parasols ...
A delicate parasol and summer sunshine make a perfect pair.

Courtesy of vintage ftw
The parasol is the umbrella's daughter,
And associates with a fan
While her father abuts the tempest
And abridges the rain.

The former assists a siren
In her serene display;
But her father is borne and honored,
And borrowed to this day.

-- Emily Dickinson

Thursday, February 10

What Happened Was ...

My friend posted this as her status on Facebook:
"So sick of Utah winters!"

And a friend of hers, we'll call him John Doe, replied,
"so move"
(Just like that, no punctuation, no capitalization -- you should know that anything in quotes is an exact replica of the original.)

My comment immediately followed:
"I hate it when people say "so move." What, like we lose the right to complain just because we live here? The huge task of quitting one's job, finding new employment, and leaving friends and family is OBVIOUSLY the BEST option and 100% plausible because we have one day where the weather pisses us off, right?

I'm with you, Jane Doe. Winter sucks ass. And I reserve the right to complain about the weather no matter where I live. If I live in California, I might complain about it being too hot."
At this point, some people cheered ... well, they liked my comment. And I was feeling pretty pleased with myself at standing up to the statement "so move" because it angers me so much.

Little did I know that John Doe is an insecure ass and felt the need to lash out ...

"I hate when people blow things out of proportion.

I lived in UT for 16 years, I know how winters are and I'm in phoenix so I obviously know how hot summers are.

If they moved, they have the option to see _other_ family and friends. So, it is option to get out of the "Utah Winters" (yes that is plural for _more then one_ indicating shes not sick of "one day where the weather pisses us off" but rather the whole season.

If someone posts there "thoughts" they expect to see a "response" whether its something they agree with or not. The fact that you got "upset" because I said "so move" is pretty sad."

Again, this is quoted word for word, typo by typo, excessive quotation mark by excessive quotation mark. I'm thinking of sending it off as a suggestion for The Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks. Now, let me explain a few particulars of the situation. Jane Doe is a coworker of my husband's. A sensitive coworker. Normally I don't supply such sassy comments on an acquaintance's status because you never know how it'll be taken but Jane and I had been friends on Facebook for a while and I thought she would understand. I did not, however, anticipate the super sensitive response of John (who seems to be a family member ... perhaps the sensitivity is a genetic defect.) Why am I telling you all this? Well, I want you to know why I couldn't respond. Why I had to swallow my pride and remain mute. Why I couldn't shame this John Doe into tears with his poor grammar and lack of originality. Why I couldn't rebut, in all my wordy, indignant, self-righteous glory, as follows:

"John Doe -- I'm so sorry you think that I was upset at you (stranger that I don't even know)! I was just annoyed with your worn out sentiment of "so move." And I was trying to show Jane that I am completely and absolutely supportive of her right to complain about whatever she wants. It had nothing to do with you so please stop trying to make this about you. It's about Jane and how bad winters suck.

But since you opened it up for argument, I would say that I'm happy you no longer live in Utah, because then I don't have to run the possibility of bumping into you at the grocery store where I might say something like "I hate these carts" and you would promptly tell me to leave the grocery store for the one up the street. Also, I would like to point out that your attempts to belittle my comment and its validity fell far short of convincing me of your point of view -- whereas mine obviously struck a chord with you. It's my sincere hope that this means you won't throw out whatever dribble is coming out of your mind and then expect that people won't challenge your statement. I'm glad that you put "upset" in quotation marks, because I am, in fact, not upset by you. I'm more so offended at your inability to communicate with other humans. It gives faint hope for the future of the species.

Of course it's an option for her to move. I never said it wasn't. My exact words were "the BEST option" meaning that I'm rating her possible options and deeming "so move" not number one. Do you see the difference? Also, it snowed today, so I took it upon myself to think that she was indicating her irritation with Utah winters because of the weather today, which is why I said "one day." Obviously someone who moved because of the weather conditions of one day would be schizophrenic.

"There" means a place, hypothetical or otherwise. Given the context of the sentence, I believe you meant "their," the possessive plural. Which reminds me, I do not need a lecture from someone as grammatically challenged as you that "winters" means more than one. And while we're at it, it's "than" not "then," you trilobite."

It's depressing to think that he thinks he bested me.
But I'm big enough to just walk away because I know the reality of the situation: he's an idiot.

Monday, February 7

Blog of No

It's Monday night.

I'm channel surfing (Monsters vs. Aliens again) to pass the time and the puppy is snorting and attacking the sofa next to me to pass the time. I'm waiting for Tom so that we can watch "Salt" which we rented from Redbox on Saturday night with "Easy A" and we really need to return it so that we don't pay a gazillion dollars for renting a movie that is only supposed to be a dollar. We are consistently bad at returning things on time. Case in point, Netflix. We have had the same DVD, unopened, sitting on our coffee table since April of 2010. 2010. At least Netflix doesn't charge a late fee. Or what about "Flight of the Conchords" Season 1 that I borrowed from a coworker approximately three years ago. We still haven't watched it.

But I digress.

In addition to channel surfing I'm checking up on various websites, one of them being Blogs of Note. I don't always love them but I still enjoy the suggestions and occasionally I find fantastic blogs that I immediately cherish. This is how I found Bugheart and Diary of an Indy Grrrl. My point? Well, while I don't always find a new favorite, I rarely find things I hate. And then this beauty was granted "blog of note" on January 28th.

The Tiny Leaf
(Did you click on the link yet?)

See the problem? There are no posts. The author has had them all removed. And then, in the solitary remaining post, she declines being a blog of note, expressing her with to "remain small." I find this ironic. Does this woman not know that she is writing ON THE INTERNET? A place where anyone and anything can find what you're writing and read it to their hearts content, with or without your approval or knowledge. She is concerned enough about readers to say her text and photos are copyrighted but her wish is to "remain small." I can't help but wonder, if her true desire was to stay unknown, why wouldn't she make her blog private? She notates that occasionally her posts "will come and go" which strikes me as schizophrenic. Is she just trying to tempt us into checking back on a semi-regular basis in hopes that we will finally be able to read all those super special secret posts that were deemed worthy by Blogs of Note? Well I'm not biting. I hate all that shit. Any people I meet in my life -- including internet people -- that play hard to get or try to be cool by being aloof are immediately filed under persona non grata. Blogs are about open expression, free access and sharing of thoughts. If she doesn't want to participate, I'm not going to play by myself.

And Blogs of Note: I recommend removing The Tiny Leaf from your list. After all a blog is by definition "a website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer; also: the contents of such a site." (Thank you, Merriam Webster.) Considering that her blog now lacks all of the above, it has essentially negated its own existence.


Saturday, February 5

Quote for Thought


-- Unknown

Thursday, February 3

Out with the Old

And in with the newer,

The groundhog did not see his shadow,
giving me hope for an early spring
and a piping hot global-warming sponsored summer.

I'm eating good food,
exercising every day,
and reading every night.

I'm over the January slump
and jumping into 2011 with both feet;
it only took me 31 days.

Get ready for a superb year of living.

Tuesday, February 1

February, Hello

You are my favorite.
St. Valentine calls for a celebration of love.
A reason to buy silly sentimental gifts.
We call it wuv burd day.
I cast aside my cynicism and indulge in romance.
And it makes the whole world seem sweeter.