I'm reading this because I heard about it on Fresh Air with Terry Gross. The interview was absolutely hilarious and reminded me why I love Betty Friedan and will always claim to be a feminist, no matter how unpopular.
Because -- let's get one thing straight -- I am a woman and I am fond of all the perks that come with suffrage and the feminist movement.
Voting. And being able to vote different from my husband if I so wish.
Birth control -- like the PILL and my beloved RING and IUDs and all that loveliness.
Reproductive control -- like family planning, i.e., not having children after 9 years of marriage.
Vagina entry rights -- like not being forced to have sex with my husband because I'm considered his property; rape of any kind being illegal is pretty important to me.
Driving a car.
Dyeing my hair any color I please and not being seen as a trollop.
The right to get divorced and have a life after that divorce.
Not wearing a corset. And sometimes not wearing a bra.
And on and on.
Of course, regardless of how "in touch" I am with my whole being a woman and feeling comfortable being a woman and all the ra-ra-women-are-awesome feelings I have, Caitlin Moran makes some good points about silly things we women do for society or men or a male dominated society. Things which we aren't even aware of being "sexist" or purported by males and then adopted by us females because, let's face it, we still live in a society where no woman has ever been president and Hilary Clinton still gets called a "bitch" and "feminist" is still a word that conjures up images of un-shaved armpits and the possibility of (shh) lesbianism. And just in case you think that we're still not the mysterious (read: witch) OTHER (read: lesser) sex, read this.
So I'm reading "How to Be a Woman" and I come to the chapter "I Become Furry!" in which Moran posits that we women have become addicted to shaving/waxing our pussies completely free of hair because of pornography. According to Moran, pornography sets up our socio-sexual norm and because most kids learn about sex from porn/media, we all grew up seeing either hairless vag in the pornos or hearing about hairless vag from our friends.
I started chopping my furry muff down to size around the age of 13. I don't know why I started doing this; I'm sure from some shame/puberty/changing-body-anxiety reason. And then of course I started dancing and that meant leotard sans underwear 4 nights a week. God forbid I be one of those girls the other girls made fun of because of (ewww!) pubes. So I started shaving my bikini line. And once I was in high school, I just started shaving all of it off -- too much potential for pube seeing when changing in between dance numbers and for plays. And besides "everyone was doing it." I imagine it was much the same for you too.
Now, I'm not saying I agree with Moran's desire that we all have "big furry minges" and lie around in hammocks finger-combing our "Wookiees" until the "minge fro" is bouffy and "you can gently bounce the palm of your hand off it, as if it were a tiny hair trampoline."
But I do like this idea:
"Walking around a room, undressed, in front of appreciative eyes, the reflection in the mirror shows ... a handful of darkness between your legs. Half animal, half secret -- something to be approached with a measure of reverence."
Ooo. Sexy, right? Powerful natural woman.
I very briefly thought about growing mine back.
Isn't that great literature? It's making me THINK about habitual actions previously un-dissected.
But here are my reasons why, after much thought, I'm NOT growing it back.
I never really liked it. I don't think it was due to some societal pressure, but just because I, as a human being, am not fond of body hair. I have very little and so to have pubes just seemed weird.
I, like all true feminists, will do as I please. After all, the feminist movement is about CHOICE. It doesn't matter what anyone says about why I do what I do, I like not having any hair down there.
I don't get rid of my hair out of a desire to be more sexually appealing. I (that's right, me) like the clean look of it. And the clean smell of it.
It's not as if I'm completely hairless and my husband is a disgusting hairy beast who expects me to be hairless. It's personal preference that we both be nice and tidy. (TMI?)
I think this is a generational thing. And I actually think it's something that we women started. It may have begun with male-dominated porno industry shaving, but once adopted by real world women, we started expecting our men to be smoother than before and trim their own bush. So really, in a roundabout way, pubic hair maintenance by both men and women is just feminism at work.
Pubic hair is just a sign of the times, and my friends, they are always a-changin'.
Someday we may be "soooo uncool" with our hairless wackies.
So I'll tell you a story. At the bright age of 12 I was allowed to start wearing makeup. It didn't take long for me to discover that even mascara could not change my straight straightstraight eyelashses into model-long curls. Thus began a decade long struggle with curlers, smudges, types of mascara, and a general loathing of my eyelashes.
So about 6 months ago I noticed that my chosen brand of super-curling-waterproof-blackest-black mascara by Maybelline was disappearing off the shelves. It was getting harder and harder to find. I realized too late that it was being discontinued -- couldn't find it ANYWHERE and couldn't buy it online straight from the manufacturer either -- so late was my discovery of the discontinuation. I mean, was I being an idiot? Yes, I was in denial.
So now I have this horrible dilemma where I'm absolutely out of MY mascara. And that begins my search for an alternative. I do extensive mascara research (Googling "mascara curling Asians" hoping for a tried-and-true Asian-approved mascara). I try every kind of curling mascara at Sephora. They all suck. Within hours, nay, minutes(!) my eyelashes are failing to look skyward but droop like Snuffleupagus. Hideous.
So I now begin researching eyelash extensions. I investigate eyelash salons. Look into eyelash types of curls, lengths, brands, etc. I post on FB, asking for my lady friends' opinions and get a slew of "NO!" and "YES!" and "My friend does them for $1!" <-- not exactly but you get the idea.
So I end up getting eyelash extensions. After 2 hours and 15 minutes in the chair, I know -- without a doubt -- they are the most wonderful things to ever happen to my eyes. I love love love them. I look wide awake and glamorous all.the.time! The only downside is ... wait for it ... they hit my glasses. They flutter up and down so beautifully and then snag on my glasses. This is as annoying as shit.
So yesterday I went to the optometrist and got contacts. Victory! I managed to overcome my fear of things near/in my eye and put the gooey orb in and out of my eyeball. As Tom says, "I'm becoming a grown up."
Why am I telling you this story? So you can see how one small change brings about big change, brings growth, opens you up to new possibilities and new experiences you never thought you'd embark on.
I have been so busy living my life this summer that I haven't written since my birthday.
I am very negligent.
But I've been having an oh-so awesome summer.
We were forced to move out of our adorable little cottage into an even bigger cottage. (Will post pics later and tell the horrific story of the moving-out situation ... or maybe never; I'm trying to forget the trauma.)
Progress towards my MBA is moving right along.
We went to Cancun and -- literally -- did nothing. We just read and read and read and ate a little and drank and met fun people and swam in the ocean and snorkeled and played beach volleyball. Best. Vacation. Ever.
The puppy turned 3.
Tom turned 29.
We celebrated 9 years of marriage. Go us!
With the bigger house we've been enjoying lots of company. Movie nights, dinners, parties. It's fantastic to have the space to entertain ... something we didn't have in the old house.
My favorite person moved back to the USA.
My brother and I had an awesome sister-brother date.
I got kinda fat ... working on it!
My wonderful friend C gave birth @ 41 to a beautiful baby boy. I cried when she called with the news. I never do that but her story is an amazing one.
And -- I hate to say it -- I didn't blog AT ALL. Too busy reading and watching gobs of trash TV, and good TV, and just loving the awesome weather and all of my ultra fab friends and family.
So sorry if you've been missing me. Chances are if you read this blog, we were actually hanging out so you weren't missing much.
Coming up -- fall and winter. Gag.
I am working on a new blog for the puppy which is part of a whole move to exploit/market my little dog.
I am working on an update to this blog ... possibly an actual .com address.
I am working on my body for my up and coming 30th birthday (AAAHHHH!).
I am now getting eyelash extentions. It's one of the most wonderful things to happen in my cosmetic life.