Best Face Forward

For those of you who know me personally you know that I worry a lot about my face. Is it looking old? Am I mushing it too much? Should I be washing it more? And you know that I have very strong feelings about faces and what we should and shouldn't do to them. But really, I'm pretty lucky in the skin department and I find that as careful as I am, I sometimes abuse my face. Case in point: every morning I have to lick (that's right LICK) a cotton swab and wipe away the mascara schmearings that have left their traces overnight. So obviously I go to sleep with my makeup on. However. I don't want to push my good fortune and as I continuously age (every day by painful day) I want to make sure my face looks as fanastic as possible.

That said: I don't want to go crazy. I want easy, low-maintenance, skin care that won't turn me into a mirror obsessed woman. I like to go for periods of time where I abstain from makeup and when you're not wearing makeup your FACE has to look great all on its own; great meaning firm and dewy and delicious. The other day I looked at a picture of me wearing no make up and I looked ... not old ... but sort of tired, not my freshest and most appealing. I knew that the day would come when I would have to invest more time into maintaining my face, and that time is now.

I've heard super good stuff about the Olay line of anti-aging skin care so I went to their website and did an online skin care consultation. The consultation is just an in-depth questionnaire about what you expect from your products, what skin type you are, and how much work you're willing to do. Then you receive a nice laundry list of what products they recommend for you to use. Here's mine:

An anti-aging face wash that cleans "down to the pores"

A regenerating serum for pre-moisturizer application



Daily moisturizer for fighting the 7 signs of aging


I'm very excited to pick up these products and start using them. Apparently the serum is supposed to be SO awesome -- just read the reviews -- making your skin smooth and soft as baby bums. The Olay site also recommended an eye serum but that seemed like too much and I'll probably only use the regenerating serum in the mornings after I babywipe my face because I only wash my face in the shower because my skin is so flippin' dry I can overwash it, regardless of how gentle the soap is. I know that this goes against every piece of skincare advice out there, but one also has to listen to one's face. My face says, "if you wash me every day, I will crack." And I want to love the skin I'm in, not torture it. Well, not yet anyway.

A List of Things You Should Never Do to Your Face

Look what my sister-in-law did.
And it inspired this list.

1. Never shave anything on your face. And I mean anything -- not sideburns, not mustaches, not those couple-of-chin-hairs. You're a girl and that means NO five o'clock shadows or stubble. This also means that you will have to use depilatory cream, wax, pluck, or laser hair removal. And if you have some facial hair that's bothering you, don't be afraid to nix it in the appropriate manner. And don't be afraid to talk about it. We are mammals, after all.

2. Never over pluck your eyebrows. Better to have a few stray hairs than to look like an eyebrowless freak. You want to have brows that fit your face, meaning as close to natural as possible, just cleaned up around the edges. When in doubt, see an aesthetician for an initial "shaping" and then you can just maintain it. Plus, as we age our eyebrows become thinner and they won't bounce back from a vigorous sprucing as they do now. Remember your granny's penciled on eyebrows? Someday that could be you ... if you over do it.

3. Never sleep on your face. The human head can weigh as much as 12 pounds. Ask yourself: would you lay a 12 pound weight on your face? Of course not; that's a sure way to wrinkle yourself up during beauty sleep. But if you find yourself constantly waking up smooshing some part of your face, you should invest in a satin pillowcase. The smoothness will help eliminate waking up with angry red marks on your face.

4. Never leave without schmearing some SPF on your pretty face ... and really, that SPF should be in your moisturizer ... and you should be using that moisturizer at least every day. Nothing damages skin like sun. Do you really want to look, at forty, like a handbag and hate yourself? Or do you want to look like Nicole Kidman at forty? Stay away from sun damage. Protect your face. I can't say it enough. Sure, it's fun to get tan and look like you're just so carefree and loving life. Well you won't be loving your cracked old lady face in 10 years if you keep doing that shit. We're going for life long beauty, not just beauty when we're young and our faces can take the heat.

5. Never "invest" in permanent makeup. Makeup is supposed to make you up; it is NOT a permanent fixture, it's a fashion statement. Your face is your face, flaws and all. It is beautiful and unique to you. Don't screw it all up by adding something that doesn't belong. And remember, what is once in fashion can be out just as quickly. You don't want to be stuck with eyeliner and look "soooo 2011."

That's my advice.
And while we're at it, I challenge each of you to go an entire week without wearing any makeup.
Because something you should ALWAYS do is show off your au naturale beauty.

The Dentist

I am one of those few and fortunate people who love going to the dentist. I don't love cavities, and I'm not saying that the experience is 100% positive. But. Wow do I love having a clean pristine mouth. I love to have beautiful gums and a fantastic white smile. I love to open my mouth wide and have no fillings (that show, anyway). Me and the hubs like to have our appointments together so we can laugh and commiserate if one of us has a cavity. Of course, he's never had one, so it's usually him commiserating with me and looking smug about his strong and healthy enamel. However, this time we both rejoiced in the fact that despite not having been to the office for TWO -- count 'em two -- years, neither of us had any problems. Cheers.

My feelings and thoughts on this subject were sounding familiar to me ... and then I remembered this post from the past. I'll just say, my enthusiasm for dental hygiene remains undiminished.

Doing Nothing

Since the performances last week, I have had a break from ballet and apparently that translates to my brain as a break from everything. I haven't done my hair or put on an ounce of make-up all week. I haven't done any laundry or cleaned up one mess. Yesterday I finally caved and emptied the dishwasher so it could be loaded again. And today I am going to TRY and get the laundry done. And tomorrow I'm going to TRY and do some grocery shopping. I have a ladies luncheon on Sunday, for which I'm making Gourmet Mac and Cheese and I am completely unprepared.

But can I just say ...

There are few things as liberating as giving the finger to society's expecations. I can understand why people become social deviants; it's very freeing. Successful women are expected to do everything; career, school, babies, marriage -- and all the while look fabulous, eat healthy, face smiling. Unfortunately the desire to maintain societal norms plagues even the most open-minded of us. However, this week, I've said, "No thank you" and gone all natural. My face is perfectly clean. My hair has no hair spray, no back combing. When I go to sleep at night I look exactly how I will look in the morning. I've never wanted to be one of those women. You know, the women that can't just pick up and go because they have to put their face on. I mean, I may look less attractive without makeup on, but that's my face; my real, honest-to-goodness face, as nature intended. And I'm not afraid to show it to the world ... or my husband. I'm not saying that I'm not a fan of makeup. I am. I love the stuff. And I enjoy spending hours getting ready and making myself up to the nines. It's just that occasionally I like to feel simple, to live simple, to take 10 more minutes to read instead of primping my hair. I challenge all of you to give it a try. Let your beautiful self out -- uninhibited by colors and concoctions. And say hello to the mirror.

Issues with Laundry

Perhaps someone can help me out. I hate myself when I do the laundry. Notice, I didn't say I hate the laundry; I hate myself when I do the laundry. This is why:

I wash.
I dry.
What's in the dryer doesn't make it out -- see previous post.
So what's in the washer doesn't make it out either.
Then I have to rewash.
And rewash.

I have an incredible abhorrence to mold or the smell of mold or even the possibility of mold. That moldy smell is my worst enemy. Sometimes I get a whiff of it from people that I interact with and I am sorry to say, I think, why don't you wash your clothes? Have you ever dried your hands on a towel, only to find that afterwards your hands smell moldy? It's the strangest smell; slightly piney with a hint of sharp old water that's been underground in a bucket. Once you have it, it is SO hard to get rid of. Maybe it's in my head, maybe it's stuck in my nose, but I keep smelling my fingertips, my clothes, the washing machine, the towels -- and I swear it's still there. Stinking. Like mold.

Now, I know that the best way to avoid all the water and detergent waste is just to DO THE LAUNDRY. But it's so hard. I have like 50 gazillion things that I can't dry, so before I can even put them in the dryer I have to sort. This problem is compounded by the fact that I have a strict laundry process. Things have to be washed in a certain order and put away in a certain order. So I can't just take things out of the dryer without the intention to fold, match, hang, and organize. And sometimes I don't get around to that step in my process. So the clothes sit. And I rewash and rewash. Does this happen to anyone else? Or am I alone with clothes that probably don't even smell like mold, but are washed multiple times, because I couldn't get them out. Or get myself out.

Hair Everywhere

If you have seen me in the recent present -- you may have realized that my hair is long now. It is approximately 7 inches from the top of my butt crack. I'm enjoying the length; lots of fun things to do with my hair these days AND I have a fantastic blow dryer that makes drying a breeze (ha ha).

But I must admit -- sometimes I hate the hairs themselves. Individual hairs are beginning to invade everything. Once the hair has left the mother ship it is free to roam about the house, the bed, or Tom's undershirts, or socks, or the sink, or the shower wall, or the washing machine, and on and on. I am not going bald. In fact, if all the hairs I find everyday were still on my head, I would not be able to lift it. When we lay in bed Tom has to pat my head in order to keep hairs out of his mouth/eyes/nose. And now all these free hairs are starting to gross me out. It's as if we two are microscopic beings living on a hair brush.

However. I must press forward. 7 inches to the butt crack (which is my end goal (ha ha)); that will probably take me until the end of the summer, or longer. We'll see which comes first: the butt crack or a hair cut.

Personal Grooming

Do you remember in 'Clueless' when Josh asks Cher "Do you know how many hours a day you spend grooming yourself?" This is an interesting question I am asking myself. A brief list of some things I do on some days:

1. apply makeup
2. shower
3. blow dry hair
4. brush hair
5. do hair (i.e. ponytail, curling, waving, you know 'doing')
6. paint nails
7. file nails
8. trim nails
9. get a pedicure
10. whiten teeth
11. brush teeth
12. wash face
13. moisturize using anti-aging cream
14. get dressed
15. put on lotion
16. shave various areas
17. pluck eyebrows
18. wear perfume
19. wear jewelry
20. sleep
21. pop zits
22. use nose strips
23. dye hair
24. trim hair
25. use hairthings like headbands/scarves
26. curl eyelashes
27. pumice heels

Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I mean, I don't do all that shit every day, but goddamn; that seems like an awful lot. I'll have to think of something I can cut out...maybe the sleep. Sometimes I hate being a high-maintenance low-maintenance-appearing female.

It's a Mosquito Bite

So... I would rather not talk about this, but I can't help but admit that zits are an annoyance to me. I am now a ripe old age of 25. Shouldn't zits be a long gone story? I have always been fortunate enough to have good skin - I get by with relatively little work (like washing/exfoliating/makeup/acne medication and so on) and it's not like I'm not grateful for my complexion. But any zit is a pain in the ass (er face). Lately I've been getting one huge zit on my chin. Then, as soon as that one is gone, I grow another one. Only one at a time. Red and angry. Personally, I blame all the holiday stress. Oh, and I blame the cold weather for chapping my lips which requires me to wear chapstick to bed which then gets on my chin which clogs pores and causes pimples. The worst part is that I can't stop picking at them. I peel off a layer of skin and then try to leave it alone, but the next day I'll be peeling off another layer. I think that the one zit is more obvious because it is all by itself. I smile, it smiles. I talk, it talks. Like a friend...that I hate.

Pedi-Cure-All

I love nothing more than to get a pedicure and I have a very specific routine:

1. Enter - with book and iPod
2. Pick out color and sit in chair
3. Turn on iPod
4. Turn on massaging chair
5. Read book during clipping/filing/scrubbing portion
6. Close book and place in lap when massage portion begins
7. Relax and close eyes while legs/feet are being massaged
8. Resume reading during painting portion

My pedicure place knows me well; I never make an appointment even though I'm there once a month. They don't really speak English, which is fine with me. I can come in and not be bothered to make awkward and forced conversation. I just sit back and relax while my feet are prettified. Plus, my place does a great job. The massage portion lasts for about 20 minutes, and includes hot towels and oil. Also, the price is right at only $22 smackers. That is cheap for an hour of selfish indulgence for an area of my body seen by few and appreciated by even fewer.

But if you haven't been getting pedicures, start considering it. You are on your feet all day long; you run, walk, jump, hike, lift weights, lift kids, and all other manners of abuse. Your feet deserve it. They treat you good, and it's time to return the favor. And don't forget: pedicures make your feet softer and smoother, which makes you feel prettier, and that makes everyone happy. Besides...no one wants feet like this:

Pick Your Pick

I think it's time for me to start using anti-aging/anti-wrinkle/SPF moisturizer. I'm 25. It's never too early to start delaying looking old. Lately I've noticed a few little dark spots (possibly *gasp* age spots) around my eyes and on the apples of my cheeks. I must confess, I have some bad face-care habits. See confession:

• I only wash my face when I shower
• I only shower every couple of days (no, I don't stink...)
• I touch/squish/pick my face too much
• I am hard on my eye skin (i.e., I use a q-tip daily to remove mascara leftovers)
• I smile a lot - not necessarily "bad" but it does make wrinkles
• I don't moisturize my neck, which is now getting a few wrinkles

Of course, I'm not a complete idiot. I do lots of things to protect my skin as well.

• I wear sunglasses religiously to fight crows feet
• I moisturize
• I use sensitive skin face wash
• I use blackhead removing nose strips
• I stay out of the sun and I use SPF 50 sunscreen
• I'm Asian

I'm not 100% high maintenance, and I'm not necessarily sold on the idea of perpetually looking 20. I am, however, a fan of taking good care of my face - as it is something people have to look at. Everyone hates the idea of looking old before their time, which explains all the drastic treatments and procedures we've got, but I say "all things within reason," including looking young. When I'm old, I know I'll have wrinkles and age spots and my hair will go gray. But that's okay because I have a plan; whether I dye my hair or keep it gray, I'm going to grow it long long long and then pile it on top of my aged head in a huge ass bun- you know, for dramatic effect. Whatever my face looks like (age 30 or 90) the bun should detract attention.

Hot Water

Brushing your teeth in Shanghai requires a bottle of water. This is because the tap water in Shanghai is not drinkable, so you can not brush your teeth with it unless you want a funny disease like "beaver fever" or really loud diarhhea. Of course, I detour this problem by using bottled water and putting it into a cup.

The process is fairly simple. Untwist the cap from a bottle of water. Pour it into a glass. Stick your toothbrush in (for wetting). Brush, as usual. Then use the water in the glass to rinse out your mouth and rinse off your toothbrush. Simple.

But what do you do when you're out of bottled water? Well, then you have to boil water in the kettle. And do the entire above process with boiling hot water. I really hate it, so I'm going to make sure I don't have to do it again. Tom usually brushes his teeth with warm water - at least he did in the states, but I like freezing ice cold water for the brushing of my teeth. Not boiling. Bleh.

Something Stuck in the Teeth

I hate it when I think I have something stuck in my teeth. Of course, this always happens when I don't have ready access to a mirror or a husband (whom I can simply turn to and ask).

The scenario usually goes as follows: I have just completed a food object. Then, someone needs to speak with me. Oh no. No time for a cleansing drink, not even gum. I am distracted through the entire conversation because of the fear that a particle is smiling at the other person. Having food in one's teeth is embarassing and gross. People wonder, "How long has that been there?" (Please see Emperor's New Groove if you didn't get this reference.) And they would be in the right. If you don't have the common sense to think about stuck food, you deserve the awkward you've-got-something-in-your-teeth talk and then the embarassing "here?" "here?" "did I get it?" All the while moving your tongue about in your mouth like a bovine. Eventually I just give up trying to tell people where it is because I don't want to keep watching.

No Cavities

I have no cavities. Yay! Today we went to one of my most favorite places: the dentist's office. I love going to the dentist because

1. your teeth get super duper clean
2. the consistent care of your teeth pays off when you don't have any cavities
3. you are complimented on white teeth and beautiful gums

You also receive a new toothbrush, floss, and toothpaste. As well as peace of mind that your teeth are healthy and plaque free.

It is rumored that dentists have the highest suicide rate because of the long standing cultural discomfort of going to the dentist. For example, the dentist asks, "How are you doing today?" and the patient replies, "Well, I'm here, so not very good." Obviously that would make a person a little sad day after day. As much as I love the dentist (and my enthusiasm is perhaps as high as possible), I understand this sentiment; I hate flouride treatments, and getting cavities drilled out and then filled is very awkward/painful. However, dentists often go unappreciated for the excellent service they provide for society. Even though certain aspects of dentistry are undesirable, they are necessary for oral health. The next time you're at the dentist, don't forget to rinse, spit, and say "thank you."

Fingernails

Men, in general, have very few "mandatory" grooming habits. The gist of what they MUST do is shave (and sometimes only half their face, depending on the style of their facial hair), brush their teeth, wash their hands, shower, cut their hair. All other things are just for fun - like coloring hair, growing fancy facial hair, shaving body hair and so on. Because of this short list of requirements, it ultra-disgusts me when men have the hated bad habit of not clipping their fingernails. It isn't difficult. You simply take out the fingernail clippers once a week and voila! you're finished. If this easy all-in-one step is skipped in a man's short grooming regiment, his hands will quickly turn into a hideous combination of feminine/creepy killer/cocaine addict. Surely all men want to avoid this look - as it doesn't look good.

Somehow most women manage to get their hair colored, shower, shave (in more than one area), paint their nails, get pedicures, whiten their teeth, do their hair in fancy styles, dress super cute, wear uncomfortable shoes and ... the list never ends. Sure some of these things are fun and we women do them because we love it. However, some of it is a pain in the ass (like plucking/waxing our eyebrows) and we still manage to get the shit done.

So please, men out there, cut your fucking fingernails.

The Forgotten Part

People are always paying attention to other people's - and their own - teeth. Are they white? Are they straight? What size and shape?

But what about gums?!?

Gums should be tight, hugging the tooth, and light pink in color. They should not be puffy, red, or loose around the base of the tooth. I pride myself on my fantastic gums. I became obssessed with flossing at a young age. I remember, with great fear, sitting in the dentist chair as the hygenist flossed in between my young teeth. Afterward, my entire mouth ached - like I'd been punched in each individual tooth. The feeling was delicious.

Flossing rids the mouth of microscopic food particles that can not be reached with brushing. Said particles are wiped away from the gum, preventing disease and infection. Proper flossing allows toothpaste and mouthwash to flow into the cracks between teeth and up around the root of the tooth. Without this preventative measure, gingivitis and periodontal disease slowly begin to rear their ugly heads. And with those diseases come continuous bad breath, tooth decay, loose teeth, pain, bleeding, and sensitivity. I am sure everyone would hate that.

So, please remember your gums and reach for the floss. I recommend Johnson & Johnson Mint Waxed Floss. It's easy on gums (especially for beginners) and tastes yummy.