A List of Things You Should Never Do to Your Face

Look what my sister-in-law did.
And it inspired this list.

1. Never shave anything on your face. And I mean anything -- not sideburns, not mustaches, not those couple-of-chin-hairs. You're a girl and that means NO five o'clock shadows or stubble. This also means that you will have to use depilatory cream, wax, pluck, or laser hair removal. And if you have some facial hair that's bothering you, don't be afraid to nix it in the appropriate manner. And don't be afraid to talk about it. We are mammals, after all.

2. Never over pluck your eyebrows. Better to have a few stray hairs than to look like an eyebrowless freak. You want to have brows that fit your face, meaning as close to natural as possible, just cleaned up around the edges. When in doubt, see an aesthetician for an initial "shaping" and then you can just maintain it. Plus, as we age our eyebrows become thinner and they won't bounce back from a vigorous sprucing as they do now. Remember your granny's penciled on eyebrows? Someday that could be you ... if you over do it.

3. Never sleep on your face. The human head can weigh as much as 12 pounds. Ask yourself: would you lay a 12 pound weight on your face? Of course not; that's a sure way to wrinkle yourself up during beauty sleep. But if you find yourself constantly waking up smooshing some part of your face, you should invest in a satin pillowcase. The smoothness will help eliminate waking up with angry red marks on your face.

4. Never leave without schmearing some SPF on your pretty face ... and really, that SPF should be in your moisturizer ... and you should be using that moisturizer at least every day. Nothing damages skin like sun. Do you really want to look, at forty, like a handbag and hate yourself? Or do you want to look like Nicole Kidman at forty? Stay away from sun damage. Protect your face. I can't say it enough. Sure, it's fun to get tan and look like you're just so carefree and loving life. Well you won't be loving your cracked old lady face in 10 years if you keep doing that shit. We're going for life long beauty, not just beauty when we're young and our faces can take the heat.

5. Never "invest" in permanent makeup. Makeup is supposed to make you up; it is NOT a permanent fixture, it's a fashion statement. Your face is your face, flaws and all. It is beautiful and unique to you. Don't screw it all up by adding something that doesn't belong. And remember, what is once in fashion can be out just as quickly. You don't want to be stuck with eyeliner and look "soooo 2011."

That's my advice.
And while we're at it, I challenge each of you to go an entire week without wearing any makeup.
Because something you should ALWAYS do is show off your au naturale beauty.