Monday, August 23

Goal: Organize Myself

I have a goal.
Get Organized.
It's very sneaky.
Just when you think you're getting close,
Life happens and you have to start all over again.
So I've got it down to 2 easy to follow parts:
1. Bankers Boxes
2. Throw Away
That means that you buy Bankers Boxes,
Label them,
And keep stuff in them.
And once a month, you throw one away.
Repeat.
For life.

Then enjoy the loveliness of simplicity.

Sunday, August 22

Rainbow Week

I've done this before. It's really fun. However, I'm working @ 6AM these days which means I basically roll out of bed, brush my hair into a semblance of beauty, and toss on any clothing that goes together. But. I've been thinking about giving it another go. Anytime I'm feeling blah about my closet and thinking that I need, yet again, more clothing, I do this trick. I'm still working on my fight against materialism -- so less buying is a good thing. And I'm a fatty so why would I want to buy clothes I'm hoping won't fit me on 3 or 4 months? Much better to save my money, save resources, and be creative.

This is what you do. It's so easy.

For an entire week you wear the same color scheme. For example: I started with purple. In fact, I think it was all the purple shirts that brought about this idea. Monday through Friday I wore:
  • Purple tie shirt with black slacks
  • Simple black shirt dress with purple scarf
  • Purple dress with black cardigan
  • Grey skirt with purple cardigan and black camisole
  • Purple cowl neck sweater with black skirt
It started forcing me to be creative with my closet and wear things I don't normally wear, even though they're still totally adorable. I received lots of compliments and I wasn't so sick of my clothes. Things became new and exciting and it was fun to get dressed in the morning. The next week you pick another color and dress in it all week, like white or green. Give it a try. You'll love your closet even more than you did before and maybe you'll realize that you have plenty to wear and pocket some money in your cute jeans.

Saturday, August 21

Giving Up

There is nothing as disappointing as a book you can't stand to finish. I've been giving this book my best efforts, but turns out, it's not worth it. I hate the prose -- it's distracting and ugly. It seems to be too self aware, as if it wants me to know that it's artful and deep. The descriptions are vague. I'm sorry; lack of cohesive writing is not "neat" or "modern": it's lazy. As the writer it's your job to paint a picture for me, to draw a character for me, to tell me a story -- not make me guess as to what is going on or who is speaking or where we are. This is not to say that I need everything spelled out for me like I'm eleven, but let's find a happy medium. Anyway. I'm giving up. The book is going back to the library, scarcely sixty pages read. I hate to be a quitter (I rarely don't finish a book, even if it's not exactly riveting) but I have far too many potentially good books on my list to stick with it. On to the next, which I hope will be worthy of my time and thoughts.

Thursday, August 19

How to Be a Good Driver

Recently, I have been reminded of what a good driver I am and thought that I should share with the world some tips on how to be as great as me on the road.
  • Always speed -- except in school zones.
  • Try to stay out of the fast lane. That's where people get pulled over.
  • Don't be afraid to change lanes. A lot.
  • Always check your blindspot when you change lanes.
  • Wear sunglasses to improve visibility.
  • Take advantage of "stop time" by checking Facebook, playing Words with Friends, or texting.
  • If it's yellow, you can make it.
  • Don't be afraid to use your horn.
  • If someone wants to go faster than you, just get out of their way. I hate people who think it's their job to regulate my speed.
  • And last: always wear your seat belt. ALL THE TIME.

Distance and the Heart

I just watched Cold Mountain. Again. It's sort of a horrific movie, and incredibly sad. Too sad, really, to make it anything more than beautiful. I would not say that it's one of my favorite movies, but for an inexplicable reason I am drawn to the characters. I am drawn to the place, the story, the tragedy. And let me add that I love the book; that is definitely on my favorite list. Frazier (wonderful writer, wretched reader) weaves the tale of Inman and Ada with the land and the war so well that they are inseparable. Inman and Ada are practically strangers when they part. They've had only moments. As Inman says, "A thousand moments! They're like a bag of tiny diamonds glittering in a black heart. Don't matter if they're real or things I made up. The shape of your neck. The way you felt under my hands when I pulled you to me." So much of love is the resolve of the heart. The mind of the lovers. The connection. The smallest thing can become meaningful. Ada and Inman feel their separation acutely. She begs, "If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are marching, stop marching. Come back to me. Come back to me is my request."

Cold Mountain has brought up a lot of thoughts about distance and heart. And it hasn't helped that I've been home alone. I've always been the type to love closeness. I thrive on it. And what does distance really do for us? Well, it can bring your mind clarity, allowing you to focus on specific memories. And it can bring loneliness, which reminds you of how much you love the person -- because sometimes when you have daily access to them you might get a little annoyed at all the socks around the house. I know that as human beings we need change and excitement to be successful. Often that means going separate ways for a time. A relationship cannot continue if growth is not allowed -- and sometimes that means growing pains. And while distance and separation are not fun, at least it can be romanticized and made meaningful. When Tom and I were apart for six weeks a few years ago, it was difficult. I had John Donne's 'A Valediction Forbidding Mourning' hanging in the bathroom. I'd had it since high school, but during that time, it spoke to me in a truer way. Especially the last half ...

"But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun."

Monday, August 16

Widowed

My husband is gone to a training summit up some stupid canyon until Friday.
My stupid knee is hurting me so I don't think I'll go to ballet tonight.
Instead, I'm going to take myself out to dinner @ Happy Sumo.
Followed by some 'Closer.'
And some in-bed reading.
For the rest of the week:
    Ballet
    Cold sleeping

For some reason when Tom is not in the bed, I can never get warm. Hopefully it will be better with the puppy there. She's never been alone with just me for so long and I'm sure she'll start to become despondent and make her sad face. But I'll be making a sad face too. It's not that I hate being alone, and really, this is a very short amount of time (last time he went to China for 6 weeks ... ick) but I start to get bored with no one to talk to. I start to become jumpy and scared to run the water because I'm listening for killers. Who is going to laugh at commercials with me? And pat my back when the scary sprinklers turn on at 5AM?

Well, me and the puppers will have to tough it out.
We'll go for runs in the park and catch up on our trash TV.
I'm going to paint my fingernails.
Read all my library books.
But still miss him.

Wednesday, August 11

Good Fortune

Fortune cookies can leave us uninspired
But I love this one's sentiment:

"Your sweetheart may be too beautiful for words
but not for arguments."

Factoids

I love it when the date and the time coincide. For instance: August 11th at 8:11.
I love it when the time is in numerical order, like 12:34 or 5:43 or 3:21.
I love it when numbers in a phone number have a common denominator.
I love it when a phone number makes a pattern on the buttons when you dial it, like a cross or an X.
I love to pay with exact change but I never have any cash.
I love to make the tip the right price to make the total a whole number.
I love it when the syllables in a sentence match the number of words in a sentence.
I love to spell words backwards and forwards in my mind over and over again.
I love names that use alliteration, such as Mary Murphy.
I love to find typos in published novels. I mark them with post-its and brag to my husband.

Friday, August 6

Repeat

Our anniversary is this weekend. On the 7th we will have been married for seven years. People sometimes wonder what makes a successful marriage ... I have no idea. Mine is working out, mostly because we just like each other. We rarely get super pissed at the other one and even when we do, we usually end up laughing about it somehow. And liking each other comes in handy because even when we do get frustrated, which always happens in relationships (romantic or otherwise), we don't want to hurt the other's feelings so we try to be nice, and barring niceness, we apologize. We always say please and thank you and we always do little things for each other. If he asks me to get some water, I will. If I ask him to do the dishes, he will. We try hard not to take advantage of each other, to treat the other like property. We make a big deal out of the good little things. He always thanks me for making his lunch. I always thank him for cleaning the toilet. We laugh and laugh and laugh. Sometimes when we lay in the bed, me facing him, him facing me, he'll have his eyes closed. But he can hear me smile and he knows that I'm looking at him. He'll tell me that I have to roll over unless I stop looking at him and I say, "I'll roll over if you give me kisses." Then the kisses come and sometimes I have to hug him tight because my heart is bursting with happiness.

Yesterday he asked me to stay home from ballet so we could just hang out. So I did. I was wavering, thinking that I should go, then he reminded me that it's almost our anniversary so we should start celebrating early. It's a tradition that we "celebrate" for the days surrounding our anniversary even if we don't do anything more than say, "it's almost our anniversary" and then smile and kiss and hug. Tom and I have been together for a decade now and I can honestly say the longer we're together the more I like him, the more I understand him. I've heard it said that married years are like dog years; you multiply by seven. But for the most part, ours have been blissful. My one piece of advice to anyone in a relationship is to continuously make the decision to be together; don't ever become complacent, don't ever think you're immune to problems -- that way, when the problems come (and they will) you won't be surprised and not know how to handle it, you'll just start working hard to fix it. So often as human beings we lack the will power to get what we want because we push away happiness with both hands. Instead, we need to hold on. And keep holding.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-- Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare

Week in Review

  • Ate healthier ... and ate less
  • Ballet twice
  • Gym twice
  • Work everyday
  • No writing
  • Relaxed with the hubs and puppy
  • Showered
  • A birthday party
  • Picked up library holds
  • Hated many drivers
  • Started a new book
  • Discovered 'Intervention' and 'Obsessed' on A&E
  • Won a game of Words with Friends