Coming Soon

THIS is coming in two weeks and I.can't.wait.

Not only am I a huge fan of mail (and I work for the biggest mail company in the country) but I am also a huge fan of surprise/impromptu/spontaneous thoughtfulness. Using the Cards App you can send personalized cards to anyone in the country for $2.99 -- an absolute steal. The benefits?

• No longer forgetting to buy a card.
• Not having to read tons of stupid store cards only to end up choosing a blank one.
• No more excessive and loud complaining about how terrible store bought cards are.
• Stress free personalized notes done straight from your phone.
• YOUR pictures, your beautiful face, your fabulous friends, on the card of your choice.

• No more forgetting to buy stamps.
• Or an envelope.
• Or forgetting to mail it and having it get wrinkled & crushed from carrying it in your purse for a week.
• You can get the recipient's address straight from your contact list.
• You receive a message when it's out for delivery.

So to recap: YOU get to send a personalized card, including envelope and postage, without any bother for the low low price of $2.99 ... two dollars and ninety-nine cents.

Spontaneity!

Thoughtfulness!

Impromptu fun!

Love it.

Holds and Holding

I feel like reading for an entire weekend. I feel like I should take a long flight just for some good book time. I placed too many books on hold at the library -- no one can read six novels in three weeks and work. Even though I know I will inevitably have to return the book and then check it out again, I don't mind. I cannot wait for them to arrive. Some haven't even been published but they sound fascinating. I have a memoir, a historical fiction, a British mystery, a story about a mental institution, stories about the south, and more.

There is something about the weight of a book in your hand. When you read in bed you get a crick in your neck from trying to hold the book as little as possible and still be able to see the words. When you read in the bathtub the corners of the pages get pruney and crisp. Your purse is always bulging with a book, ready to be taken out while waiting in line, waiting to pick up your kids, bored at a party. There is always the anticipation of turning the page in the midst of action. The anticipation of opening a brand new book. The final closing after reading something beautiful.

When I get my new iPhone 4 (!!) I will have access to iBooks -- but will I use it? Any book that I bought in e-version that I liked would just have to be repurchased in physical form for my library. I suppose e-books would be all right for a just-okay novel, but you have to pay for it, and if that's the case you may as well partake in the richness that is the library. Ah, the library. We have a complicated relationship -- mostly because I go through bouts where I am furious at them for losing items I return, only to find them sitting on my bookshelf. (In my defense, we had just moved and they were at the very tippy top of the bookshelf completely out of sight.) But mostly we are constant lovers. For no other place in the world offers up the entire, or very near to entire, collection of literature. At no cost. Unless you turn the items in late, and even then it's a pittance, pennies on the day. And all for the joy of reading and reading to your heart's content.

A New Threat to Our Youth

I'm at the grocery store buying ingredients for funeral potatoes which I am making for a friend's birthday. Tom is there and we are in a hurry, arms full of sour cream, milk (because there is none in the house), hash browns, and cheese. As we approach the check stand we set our things down and I happen to see this on the rack:Oh. My. God. Were you aware of this danger to our (and by 'our' I mean society's) children? Tom and I were immediately horrified (and by 'horrified' I mean thought-it-was-ridiculous) and began reminiscing on why we hate Reader's Digest, as well as why we hate rampant sex-scandal paranoia. Tom scoffs, and then, using his best indignant woman voice, cries out, "Oh no!" I start laughing and as we turn to begin our approach to the cashier, we notice a different cashier from the aisle adjacent to ours glaring at us. Openly, un-apologetically glaring.

I guess she doesn't find sexting a laughing matter. And she's right. Please change the nation's threat level to RED.

PS: I don't appreciate Reader's Digest using an iPhone for the cover. First of all, most people who read Reader's Digest don't understand the wonder of the iPhone. Second of all, most people who are concerned about sexting don't understand the wonder of the iPhone. It's practically slander.

Get Lost

I can't see very well at night. I mean, I wear my glasses, and that helps, but my night vision is equal to an old lady. I'm not sure when or where it started to happen but it sucks. So, that said, tonight after work I went up to our friend's new house in Clinton. I've been there once or twice before but I've never driven myself. Nor have I driven there at night. Nor have I experienced my friend's lack of ability to give directions.

The only information I needed was "which exit do I take?" This is not difficult - you just have to tell me what number or what name the exit has. I was told to take the Syracuse exit. Such an exit does not exist. It says "Syracuse" on one of the side exit signs, which I could not see. The main exit reads "Antelope Drive." Hmm. So, needless to say, I passed the correct exit and called in a frenzy because I knew I was speeding towards "too far away." Phone call went as follows:

Me: I think I went too far. There isn't an exit that says "Syracuse."

Tom (distracted): Uh, you missed it? Where are you now?

Me: I know I went too far...

Tom: Let me get Alejandro.

Alejandro: Yo.

Me: I missed the exit - which one should I take now?

...silence....

Alejandro: Um, let me get my wife.

Oh my God - People - I am driving on the freeway at 75 mph! We must make quick decisions. It's not like I can just "pull over real quick" and wait for you to tell me where to go. Grrr. I hate nothing more than people who do not know where they live or how to tell people how to get to where they live. Of course, I stupidly forgot that my fabulous iPhone has GPS. I should have just asked for their address, plugged it into my phone, and followed its simple no-fail instructions.

Note to self: save yourself grief and rely on yourself.