Eat for Thanksgiving. Yes,
Friday, October 31
Eat for Thanksgiving. Yes,
Wednesday, October 29
Tuesday, October 28
I cough very gently,
Monday, October 27
Sunday, October 26
Saturday, October 25
- eating, followed by not eating
- grinding my teeth while sleeping
- picking at my hangnails
- tapping my fingers
- staring off into space - mind reeling
- clenching my jaw
- putting my hand over my mouth, like I'm horrified
- counting to 5 over and over
- list making
Obviously these are not very effective ways in which to rid one's self of stress or dealing with stress in the present. So, as a backup plan, I have a husband who does much better than me. He usually deals with my stress and his so that I can fret in my own fashion, and he can actually DO SOMETHING. This comes in quite handy.
Friday, October 24
May I introduce you to Pushing Daisies?
Ah, how I love the characters and wit and vibrant colors. The gist is this: Ned (who grows up to be a pie maker) as a small boy discovers that he has the ability to bring dead things back to life. The caveat is this: once brought back they can live for 60 seconds and then if not put back to "dead" by Ned's touch then someone else must die in their place (it's a random proximity thing). The story is this: Ned brings back his childhood sweetheart, one Charlotte Charles aka Chuck, for good and they begin living in a sort of non-touching domesticity. To earn income they bring back dead people who have been murdered in order to solve the crime and get the reward money.
Ta da! What a winner of a show. If this hasn't captured your fancy - watch the "Pie-lette" (how witty!) and see for yourself.
Thursday, October 23
Wednesday, October 22
Tuesday, October 21
Monday, October 20
Saturday, October 18
Friday, October 17
Thursday, October 16
What the fuck, Peace Corps? What is your problem? If you were a person I would speak to you like a child and then yell at you. Then, perhaps I would spit.
You see, about a year or two ago Tom and I tried to go into the Peace Corps to China - and they told us no. And I would like to say that I hate them now, but I know that just comes from the anger at being rejected.
What better than to be a volunteer; spreading the goodwill (the best part) of the United States? Being able to indulge in cultural exchanges and just be your wonderful self and meet other wonderful selves and at the end of the two years you get $6000, non-competitive job eligibility, and a great add-on to the resume.
I'm sad for our friend - but you know what, it's the Peace Corps who should be sad. They are missing out on fabulous volunteers; smart, funny, witty, open-minded, and hard working. Missing out.
Wednesday, October 15
Tuesday, October 14
Monday, October 13
- possible hunch back (gasp!)
- broken hip
- brittle bones
- inability to jump around
Of the cases of osteoporosis in the U.S., 80% are women. Yeah, that's us. See, the tricky thing is that you can't feel your bones unless they're broken. Over the years your bones are slowly deteriorating and you aren't even aware of it - unlike other aging processes like thinning hair, thinning lips, sagging breasts, fine lines, and other gems of a long life.
So, in order to kick this problem out the door, you've got to take some action and you've got to take some calcium and vitamin D. The worse thing for your bones is a sedentary lifestyle and a lack of calcium and vitamin D in your diet. Here is a list of ways I'm going to prevent bone loss and osteoporosis:
- eat almonds (calcium)
- eat dark green leafy veggies like broccoli (calcium)
- enjoy a delicious calcium supplement like Viactiv
- eat tofu (calcium)
- drink calcium fortified orange juice
- get some sun (vitamin D)
- eat egg yolks (vitamin D)
- lift weights
- walk or jog regularly
- climb stairs
Sounds like fun! Show your bones some love by treating them right so they'll be sure to treat you right for years to come.
Sunday, October 12
Saturday, October 11
Friday, October 10
I love Food Network. I mean, I have always loved it because I love to cook and I love food but now it is seriously out of control. When Giada makes yummy eggplant parmesan with crusty garlic bread - I am totally glued to the screen. When Rachel Ray makes mac and cheese - I die inside with craving. My family is getting sick of Food Network being on all the time. They ask me things like "Why do you torture yourself like this?" or "You don't even cook" or "This is so boring" and so on.
Friends. I torture myself because I'm dieting so I'm always torturing myself. I don't cook because cooking veggies sucks ass. Food Network is not boring - it is keeping me from going insane. I'm logging away all the recipes and tricks so that when I'm finally off my stupid diet I can enjoy life like a regular person. I will cook. I will eat delicious food. End of story.
Thursday, October 9
Or maybe you think I'm being a snob (which is usually true) or that I'm being too opinionated but, in my defense, may I point out the following aspects of my character:
- I watch E! Television for fun
- I read books for fun and also often just say "I love this book. It is so good."
- I AM opinionated
- I am forced to blog about said opinions, even if they come off rude/catty/snobbish
And honestly, I was in the Enligsh department, and I really really hated those classmates who said "Oh, I haven't read Harry Potter" or "This summer I've been reading Voltaire and I love it" or other noxious sayings that made me barf into my backpack. Reading should be done for pleasure and sometimes it should be for growth - and it can always be for both.
BUT even if you are reading a fluff book - your brain can function and talk about anything in a constructive-criticism fashion. Do so. Immediately. Or I won't be asking you what you're reading.
Wednesday, October 8
My dad is an interesting guy. Today he called me while I was at the gym. I'm listening to my book on tape and then I hear the phone ringing and I answer it, panting. "Jo," he says. "I made some apple pie" and long story short he invites us over for a piece.
Did you know that my dad can make apple pie from scratch?
Yeah, he can. He also:
- makes yummy breakfasts
- loves dutch oven cooking
- loves to camp
- loves the smell of pine trees
- loves Star Trek
- loves Westerns
- reads Louis Lamour books
- does crossword and sudoku puzzles
- wears polar bear pajamas
- likes to wear cowboy boots
- has a hammock
- is bald
- is a teaser
- loves me no matter what
Tuesday, October 7
- in a salad
- in a pasta salad
- with Italian dressing
- pickled (also known as a pickle)
- on a sandwich
- a sandwich made of cucumbers
Sunday, October 5
So everything sounds delicious to eat because you aren't really supposed to eat much - that is the nature of a diet. Sunday means it's weigh-in day and my friend and I have the brilliant idea to not eat (duh) before we weigh in and then after we make our weight for the week we will eat Cafe Rio salads which I will pick up via trip to work. Yum-O!
Okay, not so much, because Cafe Rio is fucking closed on Sunday. What?!?
As I'm falling asleep the night before I realize that I don't need to leave early for work in order to pick up our salads because no one will be in the building to accept my phone call, place my order, make my food, or accept my money. Damn. Foiled again.
Either Cafe Rio is an asshole and they don't want us to eat their salad, or they are trying to help us lose weight. If it's the latter, don't help. I hate "help" with my diet when I'm really really hungry.