Friday, January 9

Fluff

Here is something I hate:

I'm at the gym and I'm in trekking class. I'm in front of the fan because I get so overheated that I will get sick and pass out if I don't have circulating air on my face. I am running, no, sprinting. And I am sort of gasping for air. Slowly, my breathing catches a hint of stink. The hint eventually turns into a decisive point -- and where is it pointing? To the guy next to me who has apparently passed gas while running full speed.

This is disgusting on several levels. First of all; I am running. I am breathing deeply and each breath feels like it might be my last. Do I want my last breath to reek of ass? Second of all; his farts were super stinky ... like a dead animal. I'm thinking, what is this man eating? He smells like he's about to rot. Thirdly; where is the common courtesy? The treadmills at my gym are upstairs and fans are kind of scarce and the air is hot and muggy. Can he not just a) hold them in or b) at least jog away to expel his disgusting puff?

I admit, I was pretty rude after the first fart was followed by many and I realized that apparently his jogging was compressing his bowels and that he would be releasing gas the entire HOUR LONG class. I started putting my hand up to my face under my nose. I would take my towel and whip the air in front of my face. I would roll my eyes and make a slightly (but really more than slightly) disgusted noise. I would turn my head away in a most determined fashion. I hope he got the hint. The hint being: if you are farting, it's time we were parting. And hopefully he was appropriately embarrassed and will think twice about his treadmill etiquette.

3 comments:

Gretzbabi said...

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee, and look who is talking!

always curious said...

that is TOOOOO FUNNY!

Jen said...

We need to start running in the front row to avoid that. okay, you - because I am not sure when I will get my fat ass back to the gym.

Anyway, I'm sorry you had to endure that but, glad you made it out alive. I am sure he eats carcass's.

By the way - Have you ever tried to hold in a fart while running at top speed? Of course, I haven't but I assume it's difficult.