Celebration

August is a big month for us; it's our anniversary and Tom's birthday. So we had to have a fun celebration with the two of us. Vegas is like our mini-vaca spot. It's becoming a tradition and we really know how to party there. We have specific things we do every time.

[First]: you must walk the strip. Vegas = walking. That's what makes it fun. No cabs, no bus, no monorail. You walk and walk and walk until you're tired and you want to sit and drink and gamble. Then you walk around slightly inebriated and laugh at the funny people ... or yourself. Whichever.

[Second]: you must play the penny slots. You find an entertaining machine, turn the volume all the way up, put in your happy dollar, and then proceed to play one line at a time, one credit per line. It's awesome. $1 buys you 100 spinnings of the reel. And if you go slow, you can get like 3 drinks in a dollar's time. How fantastic is that? Plus, you win fairly often; it's not a lot of money, obviously, but winning means the fun will last longer. I'm telling you, Vegas is only fun when you don't lose too much, and when the odds are stacked against you (because they always are in a casino) why not maximize the fun on the least amount of money?

[Third]: you must have loud sex to disturb your hotel neighbors. We hear it -- we hear the people in the middle of the night and when you walk down the hallway. You may as well contribute.

[Fourth]: you must nap. Napping provides essential energy for the aforementioned necessary activities. Besides, you're on vacation. You're on vacation in Vegas; the ultimate indulgence town. Take a nap and then you can walk all night, play the penny slots until all hours of the morning, and end the evening with some loud sex.

[Fifth]: go see a show. I know the tickets can seem a little pricey, but they're worth it. Tom dragged me to see Carrot Top (I so did not want to go) but it was the funniest show ever. We both laughed so hard the first half hour we were worried for our well being. We've also seen nearly every Cirque du Soleil show. Fantastic.

[Sixth]: eat at a buffet. You never get your money's worth and the food is usually middling to fair. You feel super fat after all the desserts. But you need energy! You're here to party and let go -- that requires food. Plus, food will help with the hangovers. Nothing cures a hangover like three plates of eggs benedict and hasbrowns.

[Seventh]: you must buy a frozen drink from Fat Tuesdays in the Miracle Mile Shops. I don't know why. The heavens demand it. My personal favorite is mango and strawberry. They're alcoholic. They're portable. They're frozen. Perfect for Vegas.

As you can see, we're old pros.
We love it and you should love it too.
So start planning your trip and get out there. I might run in to you ...