Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

We should all move into the wild,

and live like fairy queens and kings.

We'll feast on berries and drink nectar

while we dance with woodland creatures.

Movies to Rent

I'm feeling like staying on the couch and renting all those movies not deemed "worthy" of the price of a movie ticket. I've accrued quite a list because I've been watching all the GOOD movies in the theatre, like 'The Fighter' and 'True Grit.' So now it's time to give the B-list movies a viewing. Hopefully I end up finding one that I absolutely love.

I heard this was fantastic but my husband would never agree to go.

Ditto.

It looks funny/touching in a couch-potato sort of way.

Possibly hilarious, like "Drop Dead Gorgeous."

Kept meaning to see this but never made it.

I like to rent Angelina Jolie movies.

This is going to be hilarious or stupid.

I am obsessed with Rachel McAdams!

What is not to love? Ferrell and Pitt?

I read this book a couple years ago.
Also, I have to indulge my love/hate relationship with Keira Knightley.

Any other suggestions out there?

Taking Off

Jumping for joy,

Meeting spring with

Healthy eating,

Happy living,

Hearty loveing.

... And extra verbs.

The Liars' Club

I finished "The Liars' Club" and I think it threw me into a legitimate funk. It's rare that I read a book that depresses me so. Usually if a book sounds really depressing, I'm not interested (I dislike over the top drama) and I either never pick up the book or I start but never finish. I know that drama is an imitation of what we find happening in life, but when the imitations feel start to feel like just that, I find myself turning away. And maybe all the difference in the world was that it was labeled “a memoir” which lent it honesty, where in actuality it could be just as full of exaggerations or embellishments as other books labeled “fiction.”

But Liars' Club had something going on.

Mary Marlene Karr's (what a perfect Texas name) childhood was littered with horrific sadness and moments that made me laugh out loud or keep me chuckling to myself until the next day. I think those moments, as well as the delightful terror that was Mary Marlene -- or Pokey -- as her father called her, were what kept me reading and reading and then finishing in tears. Her mother was fatally flawed, her father was loving but limited, her sister was capable (with a capital C), and Mary Marlene seemed to me a tumbleweed tossed between the three members of her family. Perhaps that comes from being the baby; I wouldn’t know. And there is something of that tumultuousness in her telling of her childhood. She meanders through her time with Daddy at the Liars’ Club, listening intently, decorating crackers with cheez whiz. She tiptoes around her frightening grandmother and her mother’s alcoholic lapses. She dawdles about her childhood adventures; telling kids to “kiss her rosy red ass” and shooting a boy with a BB gun from a tree. She lives an absolutely charmed life (a pony of her very own, named “Big Enough”) and simultaneously tragic life (when her babysitter forces her to give him a blowjob).

Needless to say, I’ve found myself feeling out of sorts. And I know it’s because of her book, her story. I’m not sure if I actually loved it, or if I even recommend it. But it’s not very often that a book reaches out and yells such a quiet story at you. So quiet and peaceful, that it leaves you shaking. It will pass -- it always does. But the truth is (forgive my sentimentalities here), a part of me enjoys feeling touched, feeling changed, by what I’ve read. This is why literature moves the world. This is why people should write and people should read -- to instill change, progression, evolution, to never be stagnant -- rather, in a beautiful, constant state of flux.

Adventuring

All this warm weather is giving me antsy pants.

I feel the need for long walks that lead to nowhere.

I want to pack a weekend bag and dash off with my lover.

The open highway is calling my name, saying,

"Remember the sunny car,

your feet on the dashboard,

the radio blaring,

your book open on your lap,

the only distraction is the waiting adventure."

Image

A List of Things You Should Never Do to Your Face

Look what my sister-in-law did.
And it inspired this list.

1. Never shave anything on your face. And I mean anything -- not sideburns, not mustaches, not those couple-of-chin-hairs. You're a girl and that means NO five o'clock shadows or stubble. This also means that you will have to use depilatory cream, wax, pluck, or laser hair removal. And if you have some facial hair that's bothering you, don't be afraid to nix it in the appropriate manner. And don't be afraid to talk about it. We are mammals, after all.

2. Never over pluck your eyebrows. Better to have a few stray hairs than to look like an eyebrowless freak. You want to have brows that fit your face, meaning as close to natural as possible, just cleaned up around the edges. When in doubt, see an aesthetician for an initial "shaping" and then you can just maintain it. Plus, as we age our eyebrows become thinner and they won't bounce back from a vigorous sprucing as they do now. Remember your granny's penciled on eyebrows? Someday that could be you ... if you over do it.

3. Never sleep on your face. The human head can weigh as much as 12 pounds. Ask yourself: would you lay a 12 pound weight on your face? Of course not; that's a sure way to wrinkle yourself up during beauty sleep. But if you find yourself constantly waking up smooshing some part of your face, you should invest in a satin pillowcase. The smoothness will help eliminate waking up with angry red marks on your face.

4. Never leave without schmearing some SPF on your pretty face ... and really, that SPF should be in your moisturizer ... and you should be using that moisturizer at least every day. Nothing damages skin like sun. Do you really want to look, at forty, like a handbag and hate yourself? Or do you want to look like Nicole Kidman at forty? Stay away from sun damage. Protect your face. I can't say it enough. Sure, it's fun to get tan and look like you're just so carefree and loving life. Well you won't be loving your cracked old lady face in 10 years if you keep doing that shit. We're going for life long beauty, not just beauty when we're young and our faces can take the heat.

5. Never "invest" in permanent makeup. Makeup is supposed to make you up; it is NOT a permanent fixture, it's a fashion statement. Your face is your face, flaws and all. It is beautiful and unique to you. Don't screw it all up by adding something that doesn't belong. And remember, what is once in fashion can be out just as quickly. You don't want to be stuck with eyeliner and look "soooo 2011."

That's my advice.
And while we're at it, I challenge each of you to go an entire week without wearing any makeup.
Because something you should ALWAYS do is show off your au naturale beauty.

Shopping Cart Mystery

My new neighbors (man with scary uni-bomber beard and generic looking woman) have a shopping cart in their driveway. It's "parked" on their property but it's touching our house. That's what I hate the most about the shopping cart: the way it leans into our side of the house like it's been drifted there by the wind. But that's not the case because clearly there are NO supermarkets near enough for any wind not of Katraina-esque proportions to move a cart to my neighbor's house. It isn't even parked with a purpose, like they may have just "borrowed" the cart for some home clean up. Why is this happening? Why would they need to bring a shopping cart home with them? They have a car. They have a home. What other purpose does a shopping cart provide other than carting objects home -- which the car takes care of -- or carting around your objects because you don't have a home. Plus, I'm fairly certain that the local Smith's would consider their shopping cart being found outside the confines of the store or parking lot, theft. I'm living next door to facially hairy thieves.

I'm going to give it a few days and see what they do with it.