Sunday, May 9

Somewhere Out There

Somewhere in this world I have another mother. And every once in a great while, I think of her.

Mother's Day is one of those days.

Adoption is one of the greatest things a human being can do. It can also go unappreciated. I know several adoptees who feel anger towards their birth family and irritation with their adoptive family, as if their adoptive family can do nothing right by them because they are not of blood relation. My mom (the one I call mom, the one I love, the only one I know) is as good as or better than most moms I know. She raised me so well; I'm not sure how she did it. Somehow she was able to give me a childhood filled with endless hours of imaginative play, as well as build my adult socialization skills, making it possible for me to enjoy being a kid and transform into a successful adult. She also instilled me with a strong sense of self. She let me dress myself even when I looked ridiculous. She was able to separate herself from me enough to let me become my own individual. We like different things and some things we both enjoy. She respected our differences and encouraged me to work hard at anything I pursued. She showed me that life is hard so you have to push back even more to succeed. And best of all, she showed me that love is not about blood, it's about love.

My other mother, the one who gave me birth, was able to give me a fantastic life by giving me away. I am forever thankful to her. I feel no connection to her; just an intense benevolence when I think about the happiness in my own life because of her sacrifice. She probably doesn't think of me often, and that's okay. I want her to be happy because in reality, I have lost nothing. I have simply lived another life. And I am happy.

Happy Mother's Day.


Foreign Thoughts said...

In my experience, birth mothers think of their children every day. I'm positive your birth mother is thinking of you often and often at the same time you think of her.

Claudia Lawrence said...

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angelita said...

I really enjoy your blog and think - as a professional writer - that your writing is very heartfelt and beautiful. i also love the imagery. gorgeous! thank you for a mental treat.

Courtney said...

Hello- I ran across your blog and started reading. I love what you had to say here. I wasn't adopted but my mom wasn't able to do what other women that became like a mother to me could and I just love this.