Tis the Season

As you may know, I am not usually all "into" the Christmas season. I mean, I like it, but sometimes it's just a lot of work and stress. This year, however, I am SO on top of things and it's making my holiday season awesome with a capital fucking A.

I had my Christmas party -- it was super fun and really helped me get my house in order for the holidays. Now I can work on Christmas wrapping and present-making in the beauty of my decorated home. The tree is lit up in the corner and the garland across the mantle is gorgeous. I may have a party every year on the first weekend in December to kick my ass into gear.

We are also sending out Christmas cards this year; a first in 9 years of marriage. My fab friend Jen did a photo shoot for us at City Creek and they turned out great. I've promised myself that each card will have a personal note written inside. It shouldn't be too hard because I'm only sending out like fifteen, mostly to the people that see me all the time and wouldn't need a picture of me, but still ...

Most of my shopping is D-O-N-E. (Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.) I went the easy route: I made a spreadsheet for everyone I needed to buy for and then filled in the presents as I decided and bought. Amazon.com saved my (Christmas) life and sent it all to my door step. So I have very little leg work left and it's only the 10th! The best part about being on top of the whole gift giving thing is that I really enjoy giving people I love things they love, but sometimes my procrastination means I have to give something they'll just "like" or "use." My preparation made it possible to think of (I hope) thoughtful presents for everyone.

I've been listening to Christmas music all month, especially The Carpenters' Christmas Portrait. It's my absolute favorite and puts me in the festive spirit like nothing else. I'm looking forward to Christmas -- and all the days leading up to it.

Happy holidays to everyone everywhere.

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Upcoming

I have several projects in the works. I hope I can make them ALL come to fruition, not typical Johanna fashion where it's half started, half finished, forgotten.

*Number 1*
Ladylike Ladies Night
A party with ladies in which we will visit the UMFA, have a classy dinner, finishing with card playing and cocktails at my place. Do you think it's too much to ask guests to wear gloves, a day hat, and a long skirt -- a la Downton Abbey?

*Number 2*
Christmas Preparedness!
I am notoriously horrible at preparing for Christmas -- SO this year I am all about the online shopping. I already have several items waiting in my cart, to be ordered en masse (EARLY mind you) and then I can spend weeks beautifully gift wrapping presents for loved ones. I also am making my papa a blanket for Christmas so I've promised myself I will devote Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday evenings to working on it. Don't forget decorations: they'll be up by the 1st! I have the entire last week of November (after the Thanksgiving madness) to purchase and decorate. Ta da.

*Number 3*
Etsy Shop
This may take me a little longer ... and I'm allowing myself to say that this project might bleed into next year ... but I am starting an Etsy shop! The shop will have beautiful doodles of flowers hand-doodled by moi and then made unique and beautiful with watercolors. I will have stationery, personalization available, and wall art. I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm very excited to see if anything sells. My MBA program is robbing me of all creativity; gotta amp up the left side of my brain.

*Number 4*
Fabulous Holiday Party
Nothing says fun like the holidays. So of course you must have a fabulous party. I want to have lots of embarassing games, and I know white elephant can be so lame, but with my group of friends I think it will be hilarious. Good food, lots of drinks, and warm company. Love it. Just what everyone needs to survive the Christmas season.

Happy Halloween

@ the costume party.
We won.
Obviously.
Who doesn't need some cynical Fight Club for Halloween?

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake."

Year in Review

Before things get crazy and I party in 2012 like a mad woman, I figured I'd best make ONE teensy post in December and close out the year we all have come to know and love: 2011.

• I went back to school for my MBA. I took the scary GMAT. I wrote the stupid entrance essay. I found the money ... despite no help from my employer. And I survived the first semester. Now I'm just 5 semesters away from a six-figure salary and the glorious life of someone really important.
• I gained some weight. Not awesome, but still noteworthy, I think.
• I met a new side of my mother-in-law.
• The puppy turned 2.
• Tom and I celebrated 8 years of marriage.
• I finished making my mom's afghan that I started 3 years ago.
• We went to San Diego and beached and sunned and funned our little asses off.
• My left knee got sunburnt.
• We watched the entire Sopranos series beginning to end.
• None of the people we liked won Survivor.
• My friend, who's been wanting one her entire life, decided to get a nose job. I don't think she needs it.
• My brother is almost as tall as me.
• I started using Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook ad nauseum.
• I got a pedicure every month.
• Our best couple friend split up.
• We had sex nearly 200 times this year. Not bad for an old married couple.
• I read 34 books. 37, actually.
• We tried lots of new restaurants.
• Our landlord installed a new dishwasher that sucks.

Come on 2012.

I'm just waiting for more school,

new books to read,

new people to meet,

new movies to see,

good TV to veg out with, 

...

another year of love and loved ones and life in general.

The Time

This is the best time of year.

I won't say favorite (that's the summertime) but when Halloween starts to show its scary face, I start to feel very excited for the rest of the year. Thanksgiving, Christimas, New Year's. All of the celebrating makes the winter months liveable, and actually somewhat loveable. Halloween is the kick off for all of the end-of-year F.U.N. But keep in mind, I'm back in school. Luckily class ends the second week of December and my horrible (so horrible!) accounting class ends next week ... which means: I should be able to be proactive and organized for this holiday season.

1. Halloween will only be fun: no stressing over finding costume at the last minute or lack of cool costume or whatever -- I'll just go without one and look fabulous.
2. Plan out my Thanksgiving dishes early.
3. Arrive at mom's on Thanksgiving day early.
4. Send out Christmas cards.
5. Buy all the Christmas gifts before the 24th.
6. Wrap everything early <--- this is contingent on #4 being successful.
7. Buy a New Year's dress early; as soon as I see something I like.

Do you see how not procrastinating is basically my entire goal?
I've just been anti-procrastination specific.

The End of Leisure

My my. Fancy seeing you here. It's been a month and in that span of time I've been up to no good.

I applied for a different position at work. It sounded SO exciting and challenging and I wanted it. But I wasn't really qualified and I could tell that my application was weak. I was not selected for an interview. It's a bummer but I am absolutely not surprised. Looking on the positive side, I am valued at my current office and with school starting I may not want to be learning a brand new job and going away for training.

I stopped going to the gym and started being lax on my diet. I gained three pounds before vacation but, GOOD NEWS, I only gained one pound while on vacation. I think the healthy eating and activity really helped. For the most part I ate apples and toast and salad; can't go too wrong there. The last night, however, we went to dinner at O Bistro. We had mussels in garlic wine sauce, delicious bread, and scallop and shrimp fettucine. In addition to some seriously gourmet food, we had a tableside magic show. It was amazing. He performed sleight of hand right before our very eyes, right on our table. Amazing.

The beachy time was wonderful. The first few days were nice and sunny -- I got burnt knees and a few tanlines despite numerous applications of 50SPF. We played beach volleyball, basketball (at which I suck), rode bikes, and frolicked in the sand and sea. My husband would boogie board for hours each day. He was definitely becoming a pro; catching the really big waves and riding them all the way in. It was exciting to see. I'm a humble boogie boarder myself. I catch smallish waves and to me, they are thrilling. The first day I banged up my knee (later to be sunburnt) and developed a nice scab. As an adult I don't have too many opportunities for scabs and I'm enjoying the itchiness that comes with healing. Plus, it looks kind of bad ass.

In addition to engaging in beach activities a la Baywatch, we also went on a tour of the Midway -- an air carrier, now decommissioned, and floating in the harbor near Coronado. Me and the hubs, we love tours and museumy stuff. He got to enter a flight simulator with my brother in law and they "flew" and "gunned down" enemy aircrafts. I can't believe that pilots are able to land and fly planes from a boat. And of course, we went to Sea World. It was bittersweet because of the whole captive-animal thing; I cried a little. We did buy the puppy a stuffed squeaker baby penguin. She is trying to eat the eyes out of its head.

But all that rest and relaxation is at an end. Tonight I start graduate school with a four (that's right FOUR) hour Teams Class. And on Thursday I do another four hour stint of Finance (ick times eleven). I love that school is only two nights a week. I hate that the classes are four hours a piece. My hope is that they will fly by because they're so interesting/hard/I'm-so-fucking-awesome. I've got my stylish bag packed with post-its, pens, highlighters, legal pad, texts, and laptop. The department actually distributed each of us a backpack but it's too manly (and functional) for me. No no, I need something to lug all my crap around that's sort of impractical and chic: enter black crocodile tote. Of course, my latop only weighs three pounds and I only have one textbook until the mid-semester break so fashionableness definitely won out.

I'm also back to the gym, back on a somewhat diet, and back to my same old job. And back to blogging.

Love Day

Sonnet One Hundred and Sixteen

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

--William Shakespeare

Indestructible

"I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before.

I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible."

Wuv Burds

Happy we found each other

Happy we stay together

Happy to live in love

Happy with you

February, Hello

You are my favorite.
St. Valentine calls for a celebration of love.

A reason to buy silly sentimental gifts.

We call it wuv burd day.

I cast aside my cynicism and indulge in romance.

And it makes the whole world seem sweeter.

Unseen

Did you know that my husband has never seen 'Gone with the Wind'?

Never.

I've been married to this man for 6 years and he has never seen the movie that made me who I am. Okay, slight exaggeration. Only slight.

I don't expect everyone to read the book -- although everyone SHOULD -- but I do expect all the fabulous people in my life to watch 'Gone with the Wind' and love it. Love it. Absolutely love it. I don't care about "how long it is" and that "it's old and in technicolor" and that "Scarlett is a spoiled bitch" and the whole "slavery is wrong" nonsense. The fact is ... the movie is a wonder. Not only is Scarlett a mark of a fully developed woman, but it also shows the beauty of love and relationships and living with our own choices and all of that. It's epic. I recently re-bought the book because the version I have/permanently-borrowed-from-mom-and-dad is super old and is definitely NOT something you read in the bathtub or throw around in your purse or let the puppy rest its wee wittle head on while you read together in bed. I'm going to re-read it as soon as I make my way through the depressing corn book and all the other library books on my nightstand. February is a perfect month to indulge in a little O'Hara-ness. And it's a great way to start out the year -- because who doesn't want to be more like Scarlett?

And get this: I don't even own it on DVD. (Say what?!?) So I had to rent it from the Library so that we can watch it sans VCR. What a great Valentine's Day present -- hint hint. Oh, but someone please tell my husband that because he doesn't read this blog, therefore making that hint completely useless. Unless one of you want to indulge in my Gone with the Wind all-out obssession ... although, honestly, I'd rather you buy it for yourself and begin your own obssession, or healthy enjoyment, whichever you prefer.

Happy Belated Easter

Last night as we were making a late dinner, Tom opened the cupboard and said, "Oh."

I turned to my beloved, waiting for the epiphany, thinking it must be some declaration regarding food in the cupboard. He continued, "I think there's a chocolate bunny under the passenger seat in the old car. I'm gonna go get it. It's probably still good, right?"

And away he went to retrieve it.

Very Merry

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Let your heart be light

From now on

Our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Make the Yule-tide gay

From now on

Our troubles will be miles away

Here we are as in olden days

Happy golden days of yore

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Gather near to us once more

Through the years

We all will be together

If the Fates allow

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

And have yourself a merry little Christmas now

And Now for the Best Part

Whilst we are tucked in our beds

Perhaps with sugar plums in our heads

The snow will fall outside

Christmas trees will be lit all night

And a jolly man prepares for the flight;

The world's best loved ride

Down chimney after chimney he will fall

Shouting, "Merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night!"

Deceptive December

December is almost over.

December is one of those tricky creatures; it comes quickly, leaves quickly, and you are left standing with a new year in your hands wondering where last year went.

All the trees are up.

The presents are wrapped.

Windows are lit.

And our collective breath is bated for Christmas.

Perhaps we want it to be over - no matter how much you love the season, it's a lot of work. But I sometimes find myself thinking, "Wow, what happened?" As a kidling Christmas took forever to get here. Did I lose something along the way to adulthood? Am I not able to hold on to the spirit of Christmas? They say that as you age time goes by faster and faster. It's true.

Procrastishopping

Shopping at the last minute is great.
You have had all month to plan out what you're going to buy.
So your shopping is direct and quick.
You don't hate Christmas.

Childhood Christmas

Christmas is magical to most people because it is filled with fond memories. We continue to develop traditions even into adulthood -- but the basis of those come from childhood. My childhood Christmases are easily recalled and are, no doubt, the reason for my love of the holiday season. To me, there is an element in the air that doesn't exist at other times; something that, even though I'm grown and Christmas has lost the wonder of childish fantasies, the spirit continues. After all, Christmas is all about being childlike: giving selflessly, accepting graciously, becoming excited about silly things.

My small family did Christmas in a huge way. The entire week my mom would prep for "all" (all meaning 8) of the family to come to the house. Lots of cooking, lots of eating. We would clean and scrub and decorate. The upstairs had the beautiful tree and downstairs was the family tree - littered with our mishmash of sentimental ornaments. It used to be that we only opened one present on Christmas Eve, but somewhere along the road we ditched that and started opening EVERYTHING on Christmas Eve. The living room would be filled with wrapping paper and piles of presents. Best of all, when we woke in the morning, Santa had brought many more presents in the night.

Looking back, one of my favorite memories was Granny. She would drive herself down from Farmington in her cream Oldsmobile - always independent - and I loved to help her bring in the beautifully wrapped presents. Her arrival marked the official start of Christmas because she was the "out of town" company we prepared hardest for. The two of us used to sleep together in my bed on Christmas Eve and I remember the comfort of having someone near me. She always used a silk pillowcase to keep her hair nice. She always wore "house slippers." She always picked up pieces of whatever on the floor - no matter how hard we cleaned. She always drank a mug of hot water in the morning. She was lovely, and I miss her at Christmastime. We used to sing carols around the piano - me playing, Mom singing in her booming mezzo, Granny in her low alto. The lights from the tree illuminating the tree in a rosy glow, quiet snow outside, love on the inside.

Tree Saga

I fake moved to China which caused me to give away my Christmas tree. I moved into a new apartment and wanted to have a tree. I borrowed an extra one from my parents.

It sits in a box.

Every day I plan on putting up the tree. Every day I plan on decorating it. Every day goes by without tree or decorations.

Christmas is coming soon. I hope I get it up before Christmas or I will hate myself.

Attack of the Christmas Treats

Why is it that even when everyone is busy shopping and wrapping and, in general, running around like mad people, they still find time to buy or bake delicious goodies and throw them in front of innocent passers-by?

Please stop. My willpower is only so strong and I cannot, day after day, continue to ignore yummy food everywhere I go. Where does this tradition come from? Is it because this is the time of year of excess? The time when we all celebrate our good fortune for the past year and indulge in treats and presents and give gifts and spend lots of money? And what better way to show our collective success than to gain weight? It's like in 'Fiddler on the Roof' when Topal wants a wife with 3 double chins to show how rich he is. We are all working towards our figurative (or actual) double chin during the holidays. Look at us - we can eat whatever we want! We're so prosperous! Look at all the excess!

I say: stop all the waste, stop all the unhealthy trains of treats upon treats. Instead, let's feed the hungry and not feed ourselves. We've eaten enough. Instead of sharing our good fortune with others of good fortune, let's bake goodies and buy presents for those less fortunate than ourselves. Plus, this way we can share in the holiday joy of weight loss rather than the hated holiday weight gain.

Happy holidays for all!