Reflections on Pubic Hair

I'm reading this because I heard about it on Fresh Air with Terry Gross. The interview was absolutely hilarious and reminded me why I love Betty Friedan and will always claim to be a feminist, no matter how unpopular.

Because -- let's get one thing straight -- I am a woman and I am fond of all the perks that come with suffrage and the feminist movement.

• Voting. And being able to vote different from my husband if I so wish.
• Birth control -- like the PILL and my beloved RING and IUDs and all that loveliness.
• Reproductive control -- like family planning, i.e., not having children after 9 years of marriage.
• Vagina entry rights -- like not being forced to have sex with my husband because I'm considered his property; rape of any kind being illegal is pretty important to me.
• Driving a car.
• Dyeing my hair any color I please and not being seen as a trollop.
• The right to get divorced and have a life after that divorce.
• Not wearing a corset. And sometimes not wearing a bra.

And on and on.

Of course, regardless of how "in touch" I am with my whole being a woman and feeling comfortable being a woman and all the ra-ra-women-are-awesome feelings I have, Caitlin Moran makes some good points about silly things we women do for society or men or a male dominated society. Things which we aren't even aware of being "sexist" or purported by males and then adopted by us females because, let's face it, we still live in a society where no woman has ever been president and Hilary Clinton still gets called a "bitch" and "feminist" is still a word that conjures up images of un-shaved armpits and the possibility of (shh) lesbianism. And just in case you think that we're still not the mysterious (read: witch) OTHER (read: lesser) sex, read this.

So I'm reading "How to Be a Woman" and I come to the chapter "I Become Furry!" in which Moran posits that we women have become addicted to shaving/waxing our pussies completely free of hair because of pornography. According to Moran, pornography sets up our socio-sexual norm and because most kids learn about sex from porn/media, we all grew up seeing either hairless vag in the pornos or hearing about hairless vag from our friends. 

I started chopping my furry muff down to size around the age of 13. I don't know why I started doing this; I'm sure from some shame/puberty/changing-body-anxiety reason. And then of course I started dancing and that meant leotard sans underwear 4 nights a week. God forbid I be one of those girls the other girls made fun of because of (ewww!) pubes. So I started shaving my bikini line. And once I was in high school, I just started shaving all of it off -- too much potential for pube seeing when changing in between dance numbers and for plays. And besides "everyone was doing it." I imagine it was much the same for you too. 

Now, I'm not saying I agree with Moran's desire that we all have "big furry minges" and lie around in hammocks finger-combing our "Wookiees" until the "minge fro" is bouffy and "you can gently bounce the palm of your hand off it, as if it were a tiny hair trampoline." 

But I do like this idea:

"Walking around a room, undressed, in front of appreciative eyes, the reflection in the mirror shows ... a handful of darkness between your legs. Half animal, half secret -- something to be approached with a measure of reverence."

Ooo. Sexy, right? Powerful natural woman. 

I very briefly thought about growing mine back. 

Isn't that great literature? It's making me THINK about habitual actions previously un-dissected.

But here are my reasons why, after much thought, I'm NOT growing it back.

1. I never really liked it. I don't think it was due to some societal pressure, but just because I, as a human being, am not fond of body hair. I have very little and so to have pubes just seemed weird.
2. I, like all true feminists, will do as I please. After all, the feminist movement is about CHOICE. It doesn't matter what anyone says about why I do what I do, I like not having any hair down there.
3. I don't get rid of my hair out of a desire to be more sexually appealing. I (that's right, me) like the clean look of it. And the clean smell of it. 
4. It's not as if I'm completely hairless and my husband is a disgusting hairy beast who expects me to be hairless. It's personal preference that we both be nice and tidy. (TMI?) 

I think this is a generational thing. And I actually think it's something that we women started. It may have begun with male-dominated porno industry shaving, but once adopted by real world women, we started expecting our men to be smoother than before and trim their own bush. So really, in a roundabout way, pubic hair maintenance by both men and women is just feminism at work. 

Pubic hair is just a sign of the times, and my friends, they are always a-changin'. 

Someday we may be "soooo uncool" with our hairless wackies.

What to Wear

I've been thinking for several years that I need to establish a "style." Mine is already fairly steady; lots of tailored '50sish things paired with ruffly fluffy fun things. But I hate waking up and feeling like I don't know what to wear. And standing in front of my closet, naked, trying to pick out an outfit while the clock ticks on and I become later and later to whatever event it is that I'm trying to get dressed for. Of course, the problem with making a style for yourself is that you may end up limiting your wardrobe choices. I mean, I already don't wear brown -- with the exception of one fabulous dress that I bought years ago at Ross for like $17. (Totally worth it; I have paired the dress with different fun shoes and worn it to many parties.) But once again, I'm starting to come around to the idea that looking chic is easier when it's effortless and thoughtless, when your pieces fit together easily and you can just grab and go.

While researching, I ran across this handy guide @ Real Simple and it was inspiring. Everything on the basics list looked so attainable. And using this equally handy checklist, I am now in the process of deducing what will be the new ME style. I'm thinking lots of black basics paired with bright colorful accessories with some fabulous shirts/skirts/dresses thrown in with the lot. Also, I think it's time to invest in less black footwear and more colors and prints. On a Wednesday I might wear black dress pants, black cardigan, and black camisole punched up with a bright coral scarf around my neck to work. Then, when going out on the weekend I'd wear, say, dark jeans with pink pumps and a black t-shirt with a pink flower pin -- matching the shoes, of course. My goal is to simplify my choices and make it so everything pieces together effortlessly. The simplicity will make me look fabulous everywhere I go and make everyone I meet say, "I love what you're wearing."

Rainbow Week

I've done this before. It's really fun. However, I'm working @ 6AM these days which means I basically roll out of bed, brush my hair into a semblance of beauty, and toss on any clothing that goes together. But. I've been thinking about giving it another go. Anytime I'm feeling blah about my closet and thinking that I need, yet again, more clothing, I do this trick. I'm still working on my fight against materialism -- so less buying is a good thing. And I'm a fatty so why would I want to buy clothes I'm hoping won't fit me on 3 or 4 months? Much better to save my money, save resources, and be creative.

This is what you do. It's so easy.

For an entire week you wear the same color scheme. For example: I started with purple. In fact, I think it was all the purple shirts that brought about this idea. Monday through Friday I wore:

• Purple tie shirt with black slacks
• Simple black shirt dress with purple scarf
• Purple dress with black cardigan
• Grey skirt with purple cardigan and black camisole
• Purple cowl neck sweater with black skirt

It started forcing me to be creative with my closet and wear things I don't normally wear, even though they're still totally adorable. I received lots of compliments and I wasn't so sick of my clothes. Things became new and exciting and it was fun to get dressed in the morning. The next week you pick another color and dress in it all week, like white or green. Give it a try. You'll love your closet even more than you did before and maybe you'll realize that you have plenty to wear and pocket some money in your cute jeans.

Purse vs. Wallet

Many days I consider myself quite fortunate to be a girl. Most particularly, when Tom is running around looking for items like keys, wallet, badge, etc., when I can simply pick up my purse and be out the door. Not only are purses a fashion statement that is incredibly functional and versatile, but they are, let's face it, a dumping ground for all the little things that make life run smoothly.

I'm currently using a Dooney & Bourke bucket bag that was a gift from my mom-in-law for graduation. I absolutely love it - especially the fact that I can simply chuck crap in there and know that it is safe. Currently in my bag:

1. iPhone
2. "Duchess of Devonshire"
3. Trident Whitening Gum - peppermint flavor
4. Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss
5. headphones
6. glasses case (with glasses within)
7. sunglasses (not in case)
8. throat lozenges
9. mirror
10. water bottle
11. lip liner
12. tampon
13. iPod Nano
14. pen

See? A man could never have this type of convenience - unless he carried a fanny pack - and then he would be shunned by society.

Of course, there are various downsides to having a purse. Namely: you have a bag all the time. You are never as free as "man with wallet" because you are toting on your shoulder "responsibility." My husband likes to use my purse when we go to the movies; as soon as we sit and the lights dim his wallet and keys and receipts and various bits of paper in his pockets become lost in the depths of my purse. And after the movie comes the inevitable digging about for his lost articles. But women don't have the luxury of putting things in their pockets because societal fashion deems women's pants be "hugging" and anything other than a stick of gum will be totally obvious. Also, when you have a purse you keep adding to your load. You think to yourself, "Oh, this will fit, I will just throw this or that in" and next thing you know, lifting your purse causes tennis elbow, engorged biceps, and defined triceps. Another annoyance connected with purses is when the damn thing tips over. My purse does not zip so a tip-over spills the contents all about. It's dreadful.

These negatives associated with purses are small problems that are easily overlooked when you take into account all the freedom purses allow for. When you have a purse you need never worry, as long as it is well stocked and fashionable.

Under Where?

Ladies out there: let me introduce you to my friend - the thong.

Don't be frightened. The thong is not your enemy, nay, it is your new best friend. Panty lines are only sexy if you're only wearing panties. We don't want to see your granny ass underwear outline poking through your pants/skirts/ski pants. Underwear is supposed to be a private thing. I mean, you wouldn't wear a lacy bra with a t-shirt, would you?

Now, if you really really hate the thong, you can try the boy short. These differ from the thong in that they provide full coverage - so full, in fact, that they eliminate panty lines in most pants, shorts, capris, and even skirts. But beware, if you're wearing something super tight or if you lack sufficient junk in the trunk, they'll still be noticable (perhaps even more so than regulars). Just TRY the thong and see the difference. Your clothes slide on, no gripping or sticking on bulky panties, and your behind always shows its most attractive non-lined side.

Best advice is: wear a thong and you'll never go wrong.

Present For Me

So, the other day my friend at work comes in wearing an adorable dress. It's a black, sleeveless shirt-dress and it's fabulous. I'm totally envying her and her dress and wishing that I had a similar cuteness. But, I get over it quickly when she asks me if I want it!!!

YAY!

Apparently, she found another black shirt-dress WITH sleeves,

which she prefers, and she gave me the other one.

Glorious day. I love clothes...and if it's free, the better for me.

Summer Attire

Last week I went to my local American Eagle to buy a specific dress for last week's party, but they only had the dress in black, grey, and navy (barf, I know). See, these colors are nothing compared to the fabulosity of "the purple." Ahh, the purple. I saw it online before I went to the store, and after seeing it you will understand my disappointment in the in-store colors. The dress has a delicious ruffle to complement an adorable wide hem and matching belt. The v-neck is front and back and best of all, it is now on sale.

Oh, I love summer and the dresses that come with it.

New Shoes

I need a new pair of shoes.

Yesterday I bought a fabulous new dress; a pretty coral color, super summery. However, I have no shoes to go with it. Picture my beautiful dress with my hated black flats which I am forced to wear to work (because of the stupid dress code) and then out to dinner with friends (because I don't have time to change). They just don't go. I have my adorable green sandals, but the green and coral clash. And I have 5 or so pairs of various black pumps, but they seem too harsh for the breezy look. So, the solution is:

The combination of pink and orange flowers will go with everything that my green sandals do not. They are perfect for cool whites, bright oranges, and perky pinks. Barring extreme discomfort at the initial try-on (although that rarely deters me) I think I'll buy them tomorrow.

Accessorize

Lately, I am obsessed with accessories. I have multiple pairs of adorable earrings, billions of bangles, scarves, watches (for fashion purposes only, of course), funky rings...and I'm always searching for more. My pickiness means that I must keep a vigil lookout for any potential add-ons to my jewelry box.

And that addition will be a beautiful light-weight scarf. They are popping out at me everywhere I shop. The perfect accessory for summer; translucent yet vivid - a provocative slip around the neck. These are super 'in' this season, but I'm not sure I can a) find one I like; b) grow a larger space between my head and shoulders. How can I possibly choose a color? Especially when I take hours and hours to decide. I'm thinking that as soon as I start wearing one, I will want to wear one all the time. Does that mean I should buy hundreds? Or should I buy one staple and stick?

I most definitely want to get in on this breezy, summery, fabulous look I love. I suppose the best thing to do is get a scarf in size "super skinny" and stand tall.